So here I am, sat in my bedroom having another sleepless night leading up to results day.
Now I might be crazy but this day is heavily looming and with each second I find my stomach turning at the thought of opening that dreaded envelope.
This year seems so incredibly terrifying. Maybe I'm just a bit crazy and an extreme over thinker but all I can imagine is seeing those grades and being a complete disappointment to the world. My parents, friendship groups, boyfriend..
Now I know that grades aren't everything but the pressure I'm personally feeling at this very moment in time is paramount. I'm currently as stressed as I have ever been in my entire life - apart from actually sitting the exams which tore me up and left me sobbing into my pillow on numerous occasions. The strange part is that in reality I should not be at all stressed! I mean, come on, I'm on an awesome 6 week holiday where I'm spending most of my days relaxing watching films or seeing friends but its becoming unbearable.
A bit of background is necessary here I think;
I sat my GCSE's and worked my butt off to get decent grades. I mean studying for hours every night, doing excessive homework etc and in the end I achieved one A*,6 A's and 6 B's. This made me, my parents, my whole family very proud because as a youngster I really struggled with academic stuff.
Of course many would argue that 'hey, you did amazingly last year! You have nothing to worry about this time round!' But really, really?!? Are you serious?
Getting decent grades did not come naturally and saying that does not help AT ALL.
'You'll be fine Laura, stop worrying for goodness sakes.'
I'm sorry, but I don't think you can fully understand the pressure that you have created by assuming that all is going to be well and good again this year.
In a way, having good grades at GCSE, personally I've found that it suddenly increases the pressure to do good again this year. This, in turn, increases the potential amount of disappointment and shock from everyone else.
So when I say that I want to open the envelope on my own, please don't get offended. I'm purely trying to save myself from a mental breakdown if all goes to shit.
I don't know how you feel, but I care about what people think. Everyone says not too, but sometimes that is just impossible.
Sometimes, we need to be alone, sometimes we need to be with people.
Can someone PLEASE reassure me that I'm not the only person who is feeling this right now/has felt it?
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Tuesday, 11 August 2015
Sunday, 17 May 2015
5 steps to surviving a chaotic lifestyle without breaking down!
Okay, so firstly I attend sixth form 5/7 days of the week. The other two days I decided to get a job in a very popular discount clothes shop. So this does not leave me with a single day of rest in a week, it's great I know.. I also go dancing 3 times a week for a total of 7 hours per week..
Anyway I'm not going to complain about that anymore as it was completely my choice to get the job and go dancing etc and that isn't what this post is supposed to be about.
But from spending my weekends working in this store, dancing and juggling college work it has taught me a couple of ways to cope with people and to handle a chaotic lifestyle:
1) First of all, it really helps to know that you ARE allowed a break.
It's not going to kill you if you take that evening off from doing the dishes or housework for example. You are allowed to have the occasional cheeky netflix binge. Personally I find when I begin to feel like I'm drowning in stress, going out with someone, taking a hot bath, watching You tube; anything can help as long you can turn your brain off for a bit. If you can take half an hour to relax, things will seem clearer. Okay yeah you may have just lost half an hour in which you could've been studying or whatever but at least now you'll be able to organise what you really need to do and when. Everything should just seem a bit clearer, if it's not maybe try writing it down. Sometimes I feel like my head is just juggling so much information I feel on the brink of explosion but if I can empty those thoughts slightly, it can help to relieve the pressure.
2) You can say no.
This one I really need to work on oops.. By this second point, I mean like saying no to going out with friends or doing that extra shift at work. If you've been working hard all week and then they ask you to go in super early on that Sunday morning, you do not have to do it. You are allowed to have that extra couple hours sleep which will really help you function. Of course it's important to be kind and helpful to others etc but you can't forget about yourself.
3) Stress will come in waves.
For me, this is a big one. I find that I can build up tension inside myself and it just keeps going until I feel like I'm drowning in pressure and stress and anxiety and bleuuuuuugh. No thanks! When you reach that point that's when you need to take 10 minutes out. Break away from the world and this might sound weird but think about how big the universe is and how insignificant whatever you're stressing about really is. Remembering that stress comes in waves helps me because it just reminds me that things will calm down. Things will get better, it's how life works. Life will throw you a challenge, you either take it on or you run, either way it will stretch you and your abilities.
4) Look after your physical necessities.
This kinda links in with number 2 but its very important that you look after yourself! Don't stay up all night watching TV if you've got work early in the morning. You're going to need that sleep so that tomorrow doesn't seem so bad. Eat healthily, exercise blah blah blah, yeah do it. That McDonald's is not going to fill you up for long enough, have some proper food and remember that you are literally what you eat. Say you eat junk food all week, and say some of it gets stored as fat. When you look at your body in the mirror and see that you've gained those couple of extra pounds, it's literally that cheeseburger but in a different form. You are made of whatever you put in your body. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
The exercise? I just do it because afterwards, its like 'fuck yeah' I'm doing something goooood.
5) It's worth it.
Always remember that your hard work will pay off, there is a reason as to why you do this with your life.
Anyway I'm not going to complain about that anymore as it was completely my choice to get the job and go dancing etc and that isn't what this post is supposed to be about.
But from spending my weekends working in this store, dancing and juggling college work it has taught me a couple of ways to cope with people and to handle a chaotic lifestyle:
1) First of all, it really helps to know that you ARE allowed a break.
It's not going to kill you if you take that evening off from doing the dishes or housework for example. You are allowed to have the occasional cheeky netflix binge. Personally I find when I begin to feel like I'm drowning in stress, going out with someone, taking a hot bath, watching You tube; anything can help as long you can turn your brain off for a bit. If you can take half an hour to relax, things will seem clearer. Okay yeah you may have just lost half an hour in which you could've been studying or whatever but at least now you'll be able to organise what you really need to do and when. Everything should just seem a bit clearer, if it's not maybe try writing it down. Sometimes I feel like my head is just juggling so much information I feel on the brink of explosion but if I can empty those thoughts slightly, it can help to relieve the pressure.
2) You can say no.
This one I really need to work on oops.. By this second point, I mean like saying no to going out with friends or doing that extra shift at work. If you've been working hard all week and then they ask you to go in super early on that Sunday morning, you do not have to do it. You are allowed to have that extra couple hours sleep which will really help you function. Of course it's important to be kind and helpful to others etc but you can't forget about yourself.
3) Stress will come in waves.
For me, this is a big one. I find that I can build up tension inside myself and it just keeps going until I feel like I'm drowning in pressure and stress and anxiety and bleuuuuuugh. No thanks! When you reach that point that's when you need to take 10 minutes out. Break away from the world and this might sound weird but think about how big the universe is and how insignificant whatever you're stressing about really is. Remembering that stress comes in waves helps me because it just reminds me that things will calm down. Things will get better, it's how life works. Life will throw you a challenge, you either take it on or you run, either way it will stretch you and your abilities.
4) Look after your physical necessities.
This kinda links in with number 2 but its very important that you look after yourself! Don't stay up all night watching TV if you've got work early in the morning. You're going to need that sleep so that tomorrow doesn't seem so bad. Eat healthily, exercise blah blah blah, yeah do it. That McDonald's is not going to fill you up for long enough, have some proper food and remember that you are literally what you eat. Say you eat junk food all week, and say some of it gets stored as fat. When you look at your body in the mirror and see that you've gained those couple of extra pounds, it's literally that cheeseburger but in a different form. You are made of whatever you put in your body. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
The exercise? I just do it because afterwards, its like 'fuck yeah' I'm doing something goooood.
5) It's worth it.
Always remember that your hard work will pay off, there is a reason as to why you do this with your life.
If it's not okay, it's not the end.
Thank you for readind, please share this if you found it interesting/ helpful! Goodnight:)
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