The incredible pressure of results day

So here I am, sat in my bedroom having another sleepless night leading up to results day.
Now I might be crazy but this day is heavily looming and with each second I find my stomach turning at the thought of opening that dreaded envelope.

This year seems so incredibly terrifying. Maybe I'm just a bit crazy and an extreme over thinker but all I can imagine is seeing those grades and being a complete disappointment to the world. My parents, friendship groups, boyfriend..

Now I know that grades aren't everything but the pressure I'm personally feeling at this very moment in time is paramount. I'm currently as stressed as I have ever been in my entire life - apart from actually sitting the exams which tore me up and left me sobbing into my pillow on numerous occasions. The strange part is that in reality I should not be at all stressed! I mean, come on, I'm on an awesome 6 week holiday where I'm spending most of my days relaxing watching films or seeing friends but its becoming unbearable.

A bit of background is necessary here I think;
I sat my GCSE's and worked my butt off to get decent grades. I mean studying for hours every night, doing excessive homework etc and in the end I achieved one A*,6 A's and 6 B's. This made me, my parents, my whole family very proud because as a youngster I really struggled with academic stuff.

Of course many would argue that 'hey, you did amazingly last year! You have nothing to worry about this time round!' But really, really?!? Are you serious?

Getting decent grades did not come naturally and saying that does not help AT ALL.
'You'll be fine Laura, stop worrying for goodness sakes.'

I'm sorry, but I don't think you can fully understand the pressure that you have created by assuming that all is going to be well and good again this year.
In a way, having good grades at GCSE, personally I've found that it suddenly increases the pressure to do good again this year. This, in turn, increases the potential amount of disappointment and shock from everyone else.

So when I say that I want to open the envelope on my own, please don't get offended. I'm purely trying to save myself from a mental breakdown if all goes to shit.

I don't know how you feel, but I care about what people think. Everyone says not too, but sometimes that is just impossible.

 Sometimes, we need to be alone, sometimes we need to be with people.

Can someone PLEASE reassure me that I'm not the only person who is feeling this right now/has felt it?

'Education is the passport to your future' - really?!

Okay so as a Sixth Form student, exam season has just passed. Therefore my Sixth Form has stuck posters up around, supposedly encouraging students to work hard, revise and get good grades.

Now I might've simply read a bit too deeply into the meaning of that statement plastered on the bottom of the poster but I don't really think that it's portraying the most positive message to students who are already on the brink of a mental breakdown from the levels of stress and pressure which they're having to cope with. To me it just looks like a form propaganda to boost the statistics, but that might be a little far fetched...
By using this slogan, it is suggesting that without an education, you will not 'gain access' to your future as such.
If you don't pass these exams then you're a failure, basically. You've technically lost your 'passport to your future'.
I know for a fact, that education is not the only way to having a successful life. Okay so that's a bit of a vague statement as everybody considers success as something different. For example, for me success is when I'm very happy. Of course this can be achieved by getting good grades, or earning lots of money from my job but in all honesty, being surrounded by people who love you can also bring happiness personally. Maybe even loosing weight would make you feel very happy.
Therefore education is not necessarily needed for your future!
I don't know, I guess it just depends what you're striving for in the future but I think that posters like this are simply trying to force you into being something you may not really want to be and adding more unnecessary pressure to your life, which definitely isn't going to make you any happier.
What's the point in living if you're not happy?!
Of course everyone goes through periods of anxiety and anger in their lives but not getting an A* in that exam shouldn't limit your whole future.

Since writing this post, I've found an article on the BBC news website all about banning erasers in schools. Click here to view the original article. It talks about how there have been suggestions that rubbers should be banned in schools because they allow children to remove their mistakes from their work. I quote 'Claxton's argument is that by making children deny they make mistakes, we fail to prepare them for the real world, where mistakes can be made, and consequences ensue.'

So this makes sense, by allowing children to remove mistakes they're not being prepared for the real world, yeah fair enough.

However isn't this extremely contradicting to the whole system of exams and the idea that 'education is the passport to your future'?!? I say this because the original statement implies that if you fail and do not get an education then you've lost your future. So when you're in an exam, you're not allowed to make mistakes because if you do and you fail, BOOM game over.

Okay so I'm not sure if that made too much sense, but hey ho. Rant over.
Thank you for reading, what do you think? Have I read far too deeply into this poster?
Opinions are appreciated:)

How to survive working in retail!

If you didn't already know, I currently work in a very popular clothes shop which I can't name for legal reasons, blah blah. I've worked there for almost a year and I thought that it might be fun (and helpful) to tell you some of my tips and tricks on how to cope with a job in retail...it's harder than you might think..xD

1. First of all, one major part of working in retail is the customers. As nasty or annoy as they can be, they are ultimately the ones who pay your wages. Sometimes it can be very hard to smile when you've been treated like a piece of dirt by a customer but it is kinda necessary, kinda. Personally, if a customer is rude to me or whatever I will still be polite but I will get revenge in other ways. For example insufficiently packing their clothes etc.  (I'm such a rebel, I know..)
However not ALL customers are grumpy! Some of them are very very lovely and will chat and be understanding if you have to call a supervisor or whatever. To survive in retail, I would say that it is very important to thrive off of these people because if you focus on the negatives the day will seriously drag!
Another important thing to remember with customers is that they are the same as you. They have problems and sometimes they may be having an awful day and it then becomes your opportunity to either try and make them laugh or be as helpful or quick at serving them as you can be so that they can get back home to eat ice cream and binge watch Netflix.
Moving swiftly on...

2. Another pretty damn big part of working in all jobs really is your colleagues. The best advice for this one is just try and get on with them. It will make your life 1000000000x easier, okay so that might be a bit of an exaggeration..
But basically, you're going to be spending extended periods of time with these people, it will be much more enjoyable if you're not hating each other. Of course there seems to ALWAYS be that one person who you just can't get along with but don't make it your life mission to annoy them because you can bet that they'll get revenge or karma will kick your butt.
Whilst there will always be people who you don't get on with there will always be people who make you laugh and you get on really well with:) One of the main perks of working in a big retail store is that there are lots of different people who I probably wouldn't have met if I didn't start work there and now they've become some of my good friends who I know would stick up for me and my job. They also make the rubbish days a bit more fun and interesting:P

3. This point also relates to the colleague thingy and that is avoid gossipping. When you work with other people who you may not necessarily know very well or at all it is very easy to hear an opinion of someone and then have that singular perspective of them. Anyway back to the point, gossipping just makes working harder to be honest. When rumours start, cliques are created and this can have pretty shitty results . At my job, I've known people be reported to the boss for something that was a total rumour however it led to them losing their job so yeah. Personally, I just stay out of the firing line as much as possible!

4. The final point relates more to your mental (or even physical if you've been stood up for like 7 hours straight) well being. It's important to remember that it's absolutely OK to have a break. Retail working can be incredibly stressful believe it or not. Sometimes when you've got a never-ending queue, grumpy customers or maybe your low on change - it can be tough. Minutes being to feel like hours and if you're unhappy then you will not enjoy your job. So it's alright to take a day off now and then to chill or maybe grab a drink of water if you need it.
Just remember that you are alot stronger than you think but at the end of the day what's more important.. Your mental and physical health? Or reaching the stores budget?!


Anyway there's just a few tips that I've learnt over these last few months, I'm sorry that I haven't been very active recently, but there will be more posts to come!
Hope that you're having a lovely summer, adios x

5 steps to surviving a chaotic lifestyle without breaking down!

Okay, so firstly I attend sixth form 5/7 days of the week. The other two days I decided to get a job in a very popular discount clothes shop. So this does not leave me with a single day of rest in a week, it's great I know.. I also go dancing 3 times a week for a total of 7 hours per week..

Anyway I'm not going to complain about that anymore as it was completely my choice to get the job and go dancing etc and that isn't what this post is supposed to be about.
But from spending my weekends working in this store, dancing and juggling college work it has taught me a couple of ways to cope with people and to handle a chaotic lifestyle:

1) First of all, it really helps to know that you ARE allowed a break.
It's not going to kill you if you take that evening off from doing the dishes or housework for example. You are allowed to have the occasional cheeky netflix binge. Personally I find when I begin to feel like I'm drowning in stress, going out with someone, taking a hot bath, watching You tube; anything can help as long you can turn your brain off for a bit. If you can take half an hour to relax, things will seem clearer. Okay yeah you may have just lost half an hour in which you could've been studying or whatever but at least now you'll be able to organise what you really need to do and when. Everything should just seem a bit clearer, if it's not maybe try writing it down. Sometimes I feel like my head is just juggling so much information I feel on the brink of explosion but if I can empty those thoughts slightly, it can help to relieve the pressure.

2) You can say no.
This one I really need to work on oops.. By this second point, I mean like saying no to going out with friends or doing that extra shift at work. If you've been working hard all week and then they ask you to go in super early on that Sunday morning, you do not have to do it. You are allowed to have that extra couple hours sleep which will really help you function. Of course it's important to be kind and helpful to others etc but you can't forget about yourself. 

3) Stress will come in waves.
For me, this is a big one. I find that I can build up tension inside myself and it just keeps going until I feel like I'm drowning in pressure and stress and anxiety and bleuuuuuugh. No thanks! When you reach that point that's when you need to take 10 minutes out. Break away from the world and this might sound weird but think about how big the universe is and how insignificant whatever you're stressing about really is. Remembering that stress comes in waves helps me because it just reminds me that things will calm down. Things will get better, it's how life works. Life will throw you a challenge, you either take it on or you run, either way it will stretch you and your abilities.

4) Look after your physical necessities.
This kinda links in with number 2 but its very important that you look after yourself! Don't stay up all night watching TV if you've got work early in the morning. You're going to need that sleep so that tomorrow doesn't seem so bad. Eat healthily, exercise blah blah blah, yeah do it. That McDonald's is not going to fill you up for long enough, have some proper food and remember that you are literally what you eat. Say you eat junk food all week, and say some of it gets stored as fat. When you look at your body in the mirror and see that you've gained those couple of extra pounds, it's literally that cheeseburger but in a different form. You are made of whatever you put in your body. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
The exercise? I just do it because afterwards, its like 'fuck yeah' I'm doing something goooood.

5) It's worth it.
Always remember that your hard work will pay off, there is a reason as to why you do this with your life.

 If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Thank you for readind, please share this if you found it interesting/ helpful! Goodnight:)