The incredible pressure of results day

So here I am, sat in my bedroom having another sleepless night leading up to results day.
Now I might be crazy but this day is heavily looming and with each second I find my stomach turning at the thought of opening that dreaded envelope.

This year seems so incredibly terrifying. Maybe I'm just a bit crazy and an extreme over thinker but all I can imagine is seeing those grades and being a complete disappointment to the world. My parents, friendship groups, boyfriend..

Now I know that grades aren't everything but the pressure I'm personally feeling at this very moment in time is paramount. I'm currently as stressed as I have ever been in my entire life - apart from actually sitting the exams which tore me up and left me sobbing into my pillow on numerous occasions. The strange part is that in reality I should not be at all stressed! I mean, come on, I'm on an awesome 6 week holiday where I'm spending most of my days relaxing watching films or seeing friends but its becoming unbearable.

A bit of background is necessary here I think;
I sat my GCSE's and worked my butt off to get decent grades. I mean studying for hours every night, doing excessive homework etc and in the end I achieved one A*,6 A's and 6 B's. This made me, my parents, my whole family very proud because as a youngster I really struggled with academic stuff.

Of course many would argue that 'hey, you did amazingly last year! You have nothing to worry about this time round!' But really, really?!? Are you serious?

Getting decent grades did not come naturally and saying that does not help AT ALL.
'You'll be fine Laura, stop worrying for goodness sakes.'

I'm sorry, but I don't think you can fully understand the pressure that you have created by assuming that all is going to be well and good again this year.
In a way, having good grades at GCSE, personally I've found that it suddenly increases the pressure to do good again this year. This, in turn, increases the potential amount of disappointment and shock from everyone else.

So when I say that I want to open the envelope on my own, please don't get offended. I'm purely trying to save myself from a mental breakdown if all goes to shit.

I don't know how you feel, but I care about what people think. Everyone says not too, but sometimes that is just impossible.

 Sometimes, we need to be alone, sometimes we need to be with people.

Can someone PLEASE reassure me that I'm not the only person who is feeling this right now/has felt it?

'Education is the passport to your future' - really?!

Okay so as a Sixth Form student, exam season has just passed. Therefore my Sixth Form has stuck posters up around, supposedly encouraging students to work hard, revise and get good grades.

Now I might've simply read a bit too deeply into the meaning of that statement plastered on the bottom of the poster but I don't really think that it's portraying the most positive message to students who are already on the brink of a mental breakdown from the levels of stress and pressure which they're having to cope with. To me it just looks like a form propaganda to boost the statistics, but that might be a little far fetched...
By using this slogan, it is suggesting that without an education, you will not 'gain access' to your future as such.
If you don't pass these exams then you're a failure, basically. You've technically lost your 'passport to your future'.
I know for a fact, that education is not the only way to having a successful life. Okay so that's a bit of a vague statement as everybody considers success as something different. For example, for me success is when I'm very happy. Of course this can be achieved by getting good grades, or earning lots of money from my job but in all honesty, being surrounded by people who love you can also bring happiness personally. Maybe even loosing weight would make you feel very happy.
Therefore education is not necessarily needed for your future!
I don't know, I guess it just depends what you're striving for in the future but I think that posters like this are simply trying to force you into being something you may not really want to be and adding more unnecessary pressure to your life, which definitely isn't going to make you any happier.
What's the point in living if you're not happy?!
Of course everyone goes through periods of anxiety and anger in their lives but not getting an A* in that exam shouldn't limit your whole future.

Since writing this post, I've found an article on the BBC news website all about banning erasers in schools. Click here to view the original article. It talks about how there have been suggestions that rubbers should be banned in schools because they allow children to remove their mistakes from their work. I quote 'Claxton's argument is that by making children deny they make mistakes, we fail to prepare them for the real world, where mistakes can be made, and consequences ensue.'

So this makes sense, by allowing children to remove mistakes they're not being prepared for the real world, yeah fair enough.

However isn't this extremely contradicting to the whole system of exams and the idea that 'education is the passport to your future'?!? I say this because the original statement implies that if you fail and do not get an education then you've lost your future. So when you're in an exam, you're not allowed to make mistakes because if you do and you fail, BOOM game over.

Okay so I'm not sure if that made too much sense, but hey ho. Rant over.
Thank you for reading, what do you think? Have I read far too deeply into this poster?
Opinions are appreciated:)

Emotions running high/ Snow Queen

Hey everyone, first of all I just want to say thanks for all the views! I know that like 94 (the current amount I have whilst writing this), is not particullarly a large number, especially in comparison to some other amazing blogs, but I really appreciate it! I never even thought I'd reach 50 views so I'm pretty damn happy with 94 xD

So this post was insipred by todays events. For those of you who don't know, I do dancing and for this week I am in a dance show called the 'Snow Queen'. You probably haven't heard the story but I'm playing Kay which is a principle role, wooo!

Anyway, we were doing the rehearsals today and everyone just needed to take a majorrrrr chill pill.
There must've been about 12 people crying today, all over silly things like the order of the finale and whos going where. People were tired, hungry and needed a well deserved break at this point.
Minor details which can be easily solved by simply communicating.

But no, apparently it was necessary for everyone to shout at eachother until they all broke down into tears and stormed off...
Eventually our dance teacher, the head of the dance school, had to sit all us main parts down and have a serious conversation with us about how we were all a kind of disfunctional family and we shouldn't argue and bitch about eachother, which was a very good point and having that chat kinda bought us all together a bit more.

Personally, I try my absolute hardest to stay calm in situations when everyone else is stressing out. I just don't see the point in adding fuel to the fire and getting all worked up which will only make the situation worse.
Shouting will not make anything better, not listening to eachother will only make things 10x worse.
It was only a rehearsal, rehearsals are there for a reason!

Sorry, random rant there, will write some more interesting stuff at some point soon..promise!

Here are some pictures from the last couple of days of rehearsals:)

<--- The best costume and dance, Swan Lake!