So here I am, sat in my bedroom having another sleepless night leading up to results day.
Now I might be crazy but this day is heavily looming and with each second I find my stomach turning at the thought of opening that dreaded envelope.
This year seems so incredibly terrifying. Maybe I'm just a bit crazy and an extreme over thinker but all I can imagine is seeing those grades and being a complete disappointment to the world. My parents, friendship groups, boyfriend..
Now I know that grades aren't everything but the pressure I'm personally feeling at this very moment in time is paramount. I'm currently as stressed as I have ever been in my entire life - apart from actually sitting the exams which tore me up and left me sobbing into my pillow on numerous occasions. The strange part is that in reality I should not be at all stressed! I mean, come on, I'm on an awesome 6 week holiday where I'm spending most of my days relaxing watching films or seeing friends but its becoming unbearable.
A bit of background is necessary here I think;
I sat my GCSE's and worked my butt off to get decent grades. I mean studying for hours every night, doing excessive homework etc and in the end I achieved one A*,6 A's and 6 B's. This made me, my parents, my whole family very proud because as a youngster I really struggled with academic stuff.
Of course many would argue that 'hey, you did amazingly last year! You have nothing to worry about this time round!' But really, really?!? Are you serious?
Getting decent grades did not come naturally and saying that does not help AT ALL.
'You'll be fine Laura, stop worrying for goodness sakes.'
I'm sorry, but I don't think you can fully understand the pressure that you have created by assuming that all is going to be well and good again this year.
In a way, having good grades at GCSE, personally I've found that it suddenly increases the pressure to do good again this year. This, in turn, increases the potential amount of disappointment and shock from everyone else.
So when I say that I want to open the envelope on my own, please don't get offended. I'm purely trying to save myself from a mental breakdown if all goes to shit.
I don't know how you feel, but I care about what people think. Everyone says not too, but sometimes that is just impossible.
Sometimes, we need to be alone, sometimes we need to be with people.
Can someone PLEASE reassure me that I'm not the only person who is feeling this right now/has felt it?
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Tuesday, 11 August 2015
Monday, 22 June 2015
Scary University decisions
For those of you who don't already know I currently attend Sixth form and will soon have to begin applying to University..but this really isn't as easy as it seems, at least in my head it isn't.
Everybody seems to say a different thing about University depending on their perspective.
Sixth form says 'go go go' - because of statistics and their reputation, they don't actually seem to care too much about the individual apparently...
Graduates either do exactly what they want and get the job they wanted or they end up doing a job completely unrelated to their degree which could potentially be seen as a waste of £30,000..
My parents personally try to stay objective and just want me to be happy I think but there is always that pressure to do well of course because I want to make my parents proud which is pretty normal I think.
Friends say no, its a waste of time, you'll have to make all new friends if you go to University and move away and lets not forget about the dept.
Other people just say that you should go to University if you know exactly what job you want to have etc but who really truly knows EXACTLY what job they can get which will satisfy them for their whole entire lives, of course there are some exceptions but I'm definitely not one of them.
So at the moment, deciding on whether I should even attend University is very very blurry. Personally, I'm a very undecided, easily influenced person who can change their life goals in a split second making the choice even harder.
Then there's the part of choosing a course and a place to go to and where to live and ahhhh so much to think about. It just all seems crazy and scary because making the wrong decision here could really negatively impact what happens in the future from my perspective.
Some people would say that an apprenticeship or a different alternative to university is a better option but then you hear the statistics such as ' Graduates Earn £200,000 more than those without a degree'. ( http://www.graduates.co.uk/the-graduate-premium/) Yeah, I'm just a little bit stuck and confused right now I guess :(
So please if you have an opinion or any suggestions on how I can make the right decision for me, I would love to hear about it!! Or maybe you're going through the same problems as me, let me know and we can discuss!
At the end of the day, I find security in thinking that whatever happens, will happen for a reason.
For example If I completely fail my a-levels, then maybe I was never meant to go to uni but something else will crop up.
(This will also help me cope on results day haha..)
Thank you for reading! Please check out my other posts if you enjoyed this one and please feel free to comment or send me a message.
Everybody seems to say a different thing about University depending on their perspective.
Sixth form says 'go go go' - because of statistics and their reputation, they don't actually seem to care too much about the individual apparently...
Graduates either do exactly what they want and get the job they wanted or they end up doing a job completely unrelated to their degree which could potentially be seen as a waste of £30,000..
My parents personally try to stay objective and just want me to be happy I think but there is always that pressure to do well of course because I want to make my parents proud which is pretty normal I think.
Friends say no, its a waste of time, you'll have to make all new friends if you go to University and move away and lets not forget about the dept.
Other people just say that you should go to University if you know exactly what job you want to have etc but who really truly knows EXACTLY what job they can get which will satisfy them for their whole entire lives, of course there are some exceptions but I'm definitely not one of them.
So at the moment, deciding on whether I should even attend University is very very blurry. Personally, I'm a very undecided, easily influenced person who can change their life goals in a split second making the choice even harder.
Then there's the part of choosing a course and a place to go to and where to live and ahhhh so much to think about. It just all seems crazy and scary because making the wrong decision here could really negatively impact what happens in the future from my perspective.
Some people would say that an apprenticeship or a different alternative to university is a better option but then you hear the statistics such as ' Graduates Earn £200,000 more than those without a degree'. ( http://www.graduates.co.uk/the-graduate-premium/) Yeah, I'm just a little bit stuck and confused right now I guess :(
So please if you have an opinion or any suggestions on how I can make the right decision for me, I would love to hear about it!! Or maybe you're going through the same problems as me, let me know and we can discuss!
At the end of the day, I find security in thinking that whatever happens, will happen for a reason.
For example If I completely fail my a-levels, then maybe I was never meant to go to uni but something else will crop up.
(This will also help me cope on results day haha..)
Thank you for reading! Please check out my other posts if you enjoyed this one and please feel free to comment or send me a message.
Sunday, 17 May 2015
5 steps to surviving a chaotic lifestyle without breaking down!
Okay, so firstly I attend sixth form 5/7 days of the week. The other two days I decided to get a job in a very popular discount clothes shop. So this does not leave me with a single day of rest in a week, it's great I know.. I also go dancing 3 times a week for a total of 7 hours per week..
Anyway I'm not going to complain about that anymore as it was completely my choice to get the job and go dancing etc and that isn't what this post is supposed to be about.
But from spending my weekends working in this store, dancing and juggling college work it has taught me a couple of ways to cope with people and to handle a chaotic lifestyle:
1) First of all, it really helps to know that you ARE allowed a break.
It's not going to kill you if you take that evening off from doing the dishes or housework for example. You are allowed to have the occasional cheeky netflix binge. Personally I find when I begin to feel like I'm drowning in stress, going out with someone, taking a hot bath, watching You tube; anything can help as long you can turn your brain off for a bit. If you can take half an hour to relax, things will seem clearer. Okay yeah you may have just lost half an hour in which you could've been studying or whatever but at least now you'll be able to organise what you really need to do and when. Everything should just seem a bit clearer, if it's not maybe try writing it down. Sometimes I feel like my head is just juggling so much information I feel on the brink of explosion but if I can empty those thoughts slightly, it can help to relieve the pressure.
2) You can say no.
This one I really need to work on oops.. By this second point, I mean like saying no to going out with friends or doing that extra shift at work. If you've been working hard all week and then they ask you to go in super early on that Sunday morning, you do not have to do it. You are allowed to have that extra couple hours sleep which will really help you function. Of course it's important to be kind and helpful to others etc but you can't forget about yourself.
3) Stress will come in waves.
For me, this is a big one. I find that I can build up tension inside myself and it just keeps going until I feel like I'm drowning in pressure and stress and anxiety and bleuuuuuugh. No thanks! When you reach that point that's when you need to take 10 minutes out. Break away from the world and this might sound weird but think about how big the universe is and how insignificant whatever you're stressing about really is. Remembering that stress comes in waves helps me because it just reminds me that things will calm down. Things will get better, it's how life works. Life will throw you a challenge, you either take it on or you run, either way it will stretch you and your abilities.
4) Look after your physical necessities.
This kinda links in with number 2 but its very important that you look after yourself! Don't stay up all night watching TV if you've got work early in the morning. You're going to need that sleep so that tomorrow doesn't seem so bad. Eat healthily, exercise blah blah blah, yeah do it. That McDonald's is not going to fill you up for long enough, have some proper food and remember that you are literally what you eat. Say you eat junk food all week, and say some of it gets stored as fat. When you look at your body in the mirror and see that you've gained those couple of extra pounds, it's literally that cheeseburger but in a different form. You are made of whatever you put in your body. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
The exercise? I just do it because afterwards, its like 'fuck yeah' I'm doing something goooood.
5) It's worth it.
Always remember that your hard work will pay off, there is a reason as to why you do this with your life.
Anyway I'm not going to complain about that anymore as it was completely my choice to get the job and go dancing etc and that isn't what this post is supposed to be about.
But from spending my weekends working in this store, dancing and juggling college work it has taught me a couple of ways to cope with people and to handle a chaotic lifestyle:
1) First of all, it really helps to know that you ARE allowed a break.
It's not going to kill you if you take that evening off from doing the dishes or housework for example. You are allowed to have the occasional cheeky netflix binge. Personally I find when I begin to feel like I'm drowning in stress, going out with someone, taking a hot bath, watching You tube; anything can help as long you can turn your brain off for a bit. If you can take half an hour to relax, things will seem clearer. Okay yeah you may have just lost half an hour in which you could've been studying or whatever but at least now you'll be able to organise what you really need to do and when. Everything should just seem a bit clearer, if it's not maybe try writing it down. Sometimes I feel like my head is just juggling so much information I feel on the brink of explosion but if I can empty those thoughts slightly, it can help to relieve the pressure.
2) You can say no.
This one I really need to work on oops.. By this second point, I mean like saying no to going out with friends or doing that extra shift at work. If you've been working hard all week and then they ask you to go in super early on that Sunday morning, you do not have to do it. You are allowed to have that extra couple hours sleep which will really help you function. Of course it's important to be kind and helpful to others etc but you can't forget about yourself.
3) Stress will come in waves.
For me, this is a big one. I find that I can build up tension inside myself and it just keeps going until I feel like I'm drowning in pressure and stress and anxiety and bleuuuuuugh. No thanks! When you reach that point that's when you need to take 10 minutes out. Break away from the world and this might sound weird but think about how big the universe is and how insignificant whatever you're stressing about really is. Remembering that stress comes in waves helps me because it just reminds me that things will calm down. Things will get better, it's how life works. Life will throw you a challenge, you either take it on or you run, either way it will stretch you and your abilities.
4) Look after your physical necessities.
This kinda links in with number 2 but its very important that you look after yourself! Don't stay up all night watching TV if you've got work early in the morning. You're going to need that sleep so that tomorrow doesn't seem so bad. Eat healthily, exercise blah blah blah, yeah do it. That McDonald's is not going to fill you up for long enough, have some proper food and remember that you are literally what you eat. Say you eat junk food all week, and say some of it gets stored as fat. When you look at your body in the mirror and see that you've gained those couple of extra pounds, it's literally that cheeseburger but in a different form. You are made of whatever you put in your body. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
The exercise? I just do it because afterwards, its like 'fuck yeah' I'm doing something goooood.
5) It's worth it.
Always remember that your hard work will pay off, there is a reason as to why you do this with your life.
If it's not okay, it's not the end.
Thank you for readind, please share this if you found it interesting/ helpful! Goodnight:)
Thursday, 7 May 2015
Election day! A young person's perspective...
So, politics.
Today, if you weren't already aware, is election day in the UK. This is where anybody over the age of 18 can vote for who they want to run the country for the next few years basically.
As a British teen, I do not like the fact that my knowledge of politics and the parties, candidates etc is very very limited. All I know is that you can vote a polling station and the main parties are the Conservatives, Labour, Liberal Democrats, UKIP and the Green Party (I think).
Yes I have basic knowledge of what each party kind of wants but who I would vote for? No clue.
It's funny because you hear about lots of parties trying to get young people's votes because they usually don't bother voting etc. There is a reason for why we don't bother. Of course some people just don't really care and can't be bothered but I would say that its more down to the fact that we don't understand.
We hear rumours from newspapers, television, the internet, other people about some parties being very violent, corrupt, a bit wacky, all about upper class people/ lower class people and sometimes that it doesn't matter who you vote for, nothing will change.
This information can be very subjective and biased of course because whoever is telling you this information has got a purpose to get you to vote for a particular party otherwise they probably wouldn't be talking to you.
To solve the lack of knowledge of politics in young people, I would suggest having lessons in politics and just being able to learn about who's who, what they want for Britain and their history perhaps. Okay so yeah, some people may object which is fair enough but surely knowing about who will run the country is much more important that Pythagoras's theorem?!
Children ARE the future. They will one day be standing up against each other trying to rule the country, that's a fact.
However, I understand that It would be very hard to deliver this information objectively, as all teachers would have their own personal opinions and beliefs, which kinda throws the idea of being taught about politics in schools out of the window but how else can we learn about this stuff?
I once again, do not have the answer, it's just something that irritates me as I feel like I'm really missing out but I would not want to jeopardise this country with my lack of understanding.
Thank you for reading, what do you think?
Just a disclaimer, of course this is my own personal experience, maybe you went to a school were they taught you this stuff? Let me know how you learnt about politics and who to vote for. Who influenced you?
Today, if you weren't already aware, is election day in the UK. This is where anybody over the age of 18 can vote for who they want to run the country for the next few years basically.
As a British teen, I do not like the fact that my knowledge of politics and the parties, candidates etc is very very limited. All I know is that you can vote a polling station and the main parties are the Conservatives, Labour, Liberal Democrats, UKIP and the Green Party (I think).
Yes I have basic knowledge of what each party kind of wants but who I would vote for? No clue.
It's funny because you hear about lots of parties trying to get young people's votes because they usually don't bother voting etc. There is a reason for why we don't bother. Of course some people just don't really care and can't be bothered but I would say that its more down to the fact that we don't understand.
We hear rumours from newspapers, television, the internet, other people about some parties being very violent, corrupt, a bit wacky, all about upper class people/ lower class people and sometimes that it doesn't matter who you vote for, nothing will change.
This information can be very subjective and biased of course because whoever is telling you this information has got a purpose to get you to vote for a particular party otherwise they probably wouldn't be talking to you.
To solve the lack of knowledge of politics in young people, I would suggest having lessons in politics and just being able to learn about who's who, what they want for Britain and their history perhaps. Okay so yeah, some people may object which is fair enough but surely knowing about who will run the country is much more important that Pythagoras's theorem?!
Children ARE the future. They will one day be standing up against each other trying to rule the country, that's a fact.
However, I understand that It would be very hard to deliver this information objectively, as all teachers would have their own personal opinions and beliefs, which kinda throws the idea of being taught about politics in schools out of the window but how else can we learn about this stuff?
I once again, do not have the answer, it's just something that irritates me as I feel like I'm really missing out but I would not want to jeopardise this country with my lack of understanding.
Thank you for reading, what do you think?
Just a disclaimer, of course this is my own personal experience, maybe you went to a school were they taught you this stuff? Let me know how you learnt about politics and who to vote for. Who influenced you?
Monday, 20 April 2015
The dependency culture of technology
Okay so this post is a bit different to my other stuff. It's also the second time that I've attempted at posting this as the stupid blogger app deleted the whole post before actually posting it. Fucking brilliant.
Anyway.. So as a society I think we're becoming more and more dependent on technology to live. We are permanently attached to our mobile phones, listening to our iPods or scrolling through facebook on a computer.
For example;
'75% of Americans admit to taking their mobile phone to the toilet'
I'm sorry whaaaat?
Some people argue that they like having their phones with them at all times to feel safe. Yes I completely understand that and there are many benefits to having a phone. GPs, entertainment, safety, capturing memories etc...
But, who's going to magically appear in your bathroom and attack you whilst you're on the loo?!?!
This would suggest that maybe it isn't just for safety as to why we crave our phones.
Nowadays we like having constant attention, constant entertainment, constant conversations.
This then leads me to think about the future (and the title of this post). As a society we greatly depend on technology. Of course there are major benefits to having these things in our lives and we are very lucky to live in a world such as this.
As time goes on, we're becoming more and more dependent. This also links to why the obesity rate is so high nowadays, we don't do things for ourselves. We don't have to, so why bother?
Need to get somewhere? Take the car.
Need to wash the dishes? Use a dishwasher.
Need to buy groceries? Do some online shopping.
So does this mean that future generations are going to be completely reliant on these technologies just to live?
Can you imagine the day when people don't know how to read a clock because they don't need to know. All they have to do is press a button on their smartphone.
Personally this worries me.
Say this trend continues, how can our children learn to survive when we don't really live ourselves?
Children are like sponges. They'll soak information up, ask questions, want to know more. They have endless amounts of creativity.
But if we just shove them in front of an iPad with a game of Angry Birds, how can they make memories, gain experiences and learn from their mistake? All the things that have to happen for you to live your life.
I'd like to say 'oh well, it's not my problem'. But actually it is. My children, your children, the future generations who will rule the world have to be considered.
I have no idea what can be done about these problems, but we can't just think about ourselves anymore.
Hope you've had a nice week, it's been lovely weather here in England for a change!;) thank you for reading this.
Don't forget to enter your email address (centre right of the homepage) to be notified whenever I post something new! Feel free to leave a comment or tweet me:) @laurahayley129
Thursday, 16 April 2015
Education in the UK and examinations
So, if you haven't already read or guessed I am a student and I go to sixth form. I have been in education for over 10 years now and I'm planning to stay here for another 5 years I guess. Currently I'm studying A-levels in Biology, History, Sociology and Dance.
With upcoming exams in about 4 weeks, it made me think about how strange our education system is here in the UK (other countries are probably very similar but I haven't got proper knowledge on those, if you get what I'm saying).
You start reception at 4 years old and on the first day you wave goodbye to your parent/guardian who usually sheds a tear at their little monkey growing up.
You reach 11 years old and youre off to 'big school' where you think you're really grown up leaving all the little kids behind.
Then before you know it, you've reached 16. You have sat through your GCSE's and spent countless hours in the exam hall.
These results determine whats going to happen next in your life.
By 18 you've finished your college/sixth form life.
Results day will decide for you whether you're going to have a gap year, go to uni or get a full-time job.
Exams and exam results seem incredibly important at the time. I personally spent hours slaving away behind textbooks to get some decent GCSE's and hopefully will get some o.k A-level results.
But I can't be the only one how finds it weird how our futures are supposedly determined by what grade we get from writing on a piece of paper for an hour or two?
This method of learning isn't really learning in my opinion. The exams are teaching us that memory recall is more important than actually understanding a topic.
Yes, people have come up with some solutions such as BTEC courses and courses which can be heavily coursework based. However BTEC's aren't avaliable in everything (and I understand that that isn't always possible), coursework isn't in every subject and soon some A-levels are going be completely changed. All exams will be at the end of the second year.
Personally, I think that this is a very strange change. There must be some advantages to it, otherwise it wouldn't have been changed but I just can't find them.
I consider myself lucky to be having exams at the end of my first year and at the end of my second becuase that means that I can truly focus on remebering all the knowledge for my first exams, forgetting it the second I leave the exam hall and then memorising more information for the second exams, only to be forgotten again.
I might be the only person who feels like this and of course some people will disagree because maybe they actually do learn the information needed for exams and then retain it for a lifetime. I just know that its never happened to me.
Anyway, thank you for reading, I would love to hear your opinion, so feel free to tweet me or leave a comment - whatever you want.
With upcoming exams in about 4 weeks, it made me think about how strange our education system is here in the UK (other countries are probably very similar but I haven't got proper knowledge on those, if you get what I'm saying).
You start reception at 4 years old and on the first day you wave goodbye to your parent/guardian who usually sheds a tear at their little monkey growing up.
You reach 11 years old and youre off to 'big school' where you think you're really grown up leaving all the little kids behind.
Then before you know it, you've reached 16. You have sat through your GCSE's and spent countless hours in the exam hall.
These results determine whats going to happen next in your life.
By 18 you've finished your college/sixth form life.
Results day will decide for you whether you're going to have a gap year, go to uni or get a full-time job.
Exams and exam results seem incredibly important at the time. I personally spent hours slaving away behind textbooks to get some decent GCSE's and hopefully will get some o.k A-level results.
But I can't be the only one how finds it weird how our futures are supposedly determined by what grade we get from writing on a piece of paper for an hour or two?
This method of learning isn't really learning in my opinion. The exams are teaching us that memory recall is more important than actually understanding a topic.
Yes, people have come up with some solutions such as BTEC courses and courses which can be heavily coursework based. However BTEC's aren't avaliable in everything (and I understand that that isn't always possible), coursework isn't in every subject and soon some A-levels are going be completely changed. All exams will be at the end of the second year.
Personally, I think that this is a very strange change. There must be some advantages to it, otherwise it wouldn't have been changed but I just can't find them.
I consider myself lucky to be having exams at the end of my first year and at the end of my second becuase that means that I can truly focus on remebering all the knowledge for my first exams, forgetting it the second I leave the exam hall and then memorising more information for the second exams, only to be forgotten again.
I might be the only person who feels like this and of course some people will disagree because maybe they actually do learn the information needed for exams and then retain it for a lifetime. I just know that its never happened to me.
Anyway, thank you for reading, I would love to hear your opinion, so feel free to tweet me or leave a comment - whatever you want.
I must dash as I've got to get back to revising ;)
Monday, 6 April 2015
The Future...
Its weird to think about the future. Your whole world could change tomorrow and theres nothing you can do about it. Most likely you've got some sort of plans for your life, whether its to get a promotion, or get into uni, get married, move to Alaska, anything.
Personally, I've always wanted to be a teacher. My plan was to go to school, get a-levels etc, attend uni and get a degree then become a primary school teacher. I've had previous experience with teaching and so far have thoroughly enjoyed it. But do you ever just wake up one day and be like no. I don't want to have a 9-5 job which I'm tied down to until I'm 65. I don't want to be someones slave and get paid what they want and be under their control.
You start thinking, hang on, do I really want to live like that?
Crazy thoughts rush through you're mind as you realise that you've been moulded as a child to obey rules of the workplace and you will be expected to go into employment and work for somebody else.
I'm not saying everybody is like this, but for the majority.
So you start thinking about how you can make a change and do something you want to do with your life because after all 'choose a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life' (Confucius) right?
But then no, I do want to be a teacher. Its what I enjoy doing (at least I think I do). Surely I will love that job if I eventually get there? How on earth can we win?
Just another conflict running through my mind.
By the way, I'm currently studying a-levels and am planning to do a sociology degree at university and later become a teacher, if you hadn't already noticed ;) But hey that plan could all go to pot if I win the lottery tomorrow.
If you did win the lottery tomorrow, would you still want to work for that dream job? Or would you throw the towel in and have a pretty chill lifestlye?
I like to think that I would still want to work and reach my goals the same way everyone else has to but then again I've never won the lottery so how do I know what I would do.
Personally, I've always wanted to be a teacher. My plan was to go to school, get a-levels etc, attend uni and get a degree then become a primary school teacher. I've had previous experience with teaching and so far have thoroughly enjoyed it. But do you ever just wake up one day and be like no. I don't want to have a 9-5 job which I'm tied down to until I'm 65. I don't want to be someones slave and get paid what they want and be under their control.
You start thinking, hang on, do I really want to live like that?
Crazy thoughts rush through you're mind as you realise that you've been moulded as a child to obey rules of the workplace and you will be expected to go into employment and work for somebody else.
I'm not saying everybody is like this, but for the majority.
So you start thinking about how you can make a change and do something you want to do with your life because after all 'choose a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life' (Confucius) right?
But then no, I do want to be a teacher. Its what I enjoy doing (at least I think I do). Surely I will love that job if I eventually get there? How on earth can we win?
Just another conflict running through my mind.
By the way, I'm currently studying a-levels and am planning to do a sociology degree at university and later become a teacher, if you hadn't already noticed ;) But hey that plan could all go to pot if I win the lottery tomorrow.
If you did win the lottery tomorrow, would you still want to work for that dream job? Or would you throw the towel in and have a pretty chill lifestlye?
I like to think that I would still want to work and reach my goals the same way everyone else has to but then again I've never won the lottery so how do I know what I would do.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)