Sunday, 26 April 2015

What is love?

This is a intertesting, complex topic; but lets just dive straight in...
I believe that there are 3 types of love;
1. The first type is all about loving an object or something that you own. For example I love my Iphone, I would probably be lost without it as I heavily rely on it to my disappointment...(see my last post for more information!) Yes I love it, but I'm not attracted to it and the love is not unconditional. If the phone breaks or whatever, I'm not going to love it anymore, I'll probably go and buy a Samsung, if you get the picture.
You can love this inanimate object but its not love that you could feel with a person because it has no ability to love you back.

2. So, the second type of love is the kind of love you feel for family and friends. It is unconditional and you love these people because you've spent alot of time with them and they've sculpted who you are as a person. You provide emotional support for eachother and you have the capability to forgive eachother if you make a mistake. Not like an Iphone, you're much more likely to forgive a person for their mistakes if you love them because you care about them and don't want to lose them. However this desn't mean that you're in any way attracted to them or in love with them. You love them for who they are and for everything they've done for you and they should appreciate everything you've done for them as well.

3. This third type is waaaay different to the other two. This is true love. The kind you see in Disney films between Princes and Princesses. This, obviously, can be a very nice thing, especially if the person loves you back. It can be absoluteley wonderful.
Now, I'm still pretty young and as you would expect I do not have much experience with this kind of love because of my age etc. Hopefully I've still got quite a bit of life to go where I will gain these experiences and memories. I reckon this third kind can be very beautiful. Personally, I'm only just beginning to get a taste of this.
This love originally develops as lust. Some people may call it 'love at first sight' but in my opinion its just attraction at first sight. It's not deep love because you need to spend your precious time with that person for deep love to really develop.
So it starts with attraction, like a little crush you would get in the playground as a kid. And then you get to know them, instead of just loving the way they look you start loving who they are as a person. You fall in love with the little details, and the attraction is no longer just to those sparkiling blue eyes, or those ripped abs for example. You're seeing past the outer shell of that person.
I mentioned earlier that this kind can be very beautiful but I believe that it can also be very destructive and damaging as well because it's so powerful. There are negatives to everything, nothing is perfect, life is not a movie. Some might argue that this destructive side is very painful and can ruin your life as you're in a very vunerable position which is totally understandable.
However the power and strength of the third kind, I think, can almost be seen in a positive way. For example, you're worried about what they're doing, who they're hanging out with etc and obviously that hurts because you're scared of losing that person. BUT without that slight fear, would you really love that person?
For me, I like to see it as proof, yes its okay to be jealous because it means that I'm not fooling myself. I'm not making this love up through rose tinted glasses, it's really there.

Just something that popped into my head on a walk to Sixth Form one morning. Have a good evening, thank you for reading!
What do you think? Have I got it all wrong or does this make sense?

Monday, 20 April 2015

The dependency culture of technology

Okay so this post is a bit different to my other stuff. It's also the second time that I've attempted at posting this as the stupid blogger app deleted the whole post before actually posting it. Fucking brilliant.

Anyway.. So as a society I think we're becoming more and more dependent on technology to live. We are permanently attached to our mobile phones, listening to our iPods or scrolling through facebook on a computer. 
For example;
'75% of Americans admit to taking their mobile phone to the toilet'
I'm sorry whaaaat? 
Some people argue that they like having their phones with them at all times to feel safe. Yes I completely understand that and there are many benefits to having a phone. GPs, entertainment, safety, capturing memories etc... 
But, who's going to magically appear in your bathroom and attack you whilst you're on the loo?!?! 
This would suggest that maybe it isn't just for safety as to why we crave our phones. 
Nowadays we like having constant attention, constant entertainment, constant conversations. 
This then leads me to think about the future (and the title of this post). As a society we greatly depend on technology. Of course there are major benefits to having these things in our lives and we are very lucky to live in a world such as this. 
As time goes on, we're becoming more and more dependent. This also links to why the obesity rate is so high nowadays, we don't do things for ourselves. We don't have to, so why bother?
Need to get somewhere? Take the car.
Need to wash the dishes? Use a dishwasher.
Need to buy groceries? Do some online shopping.
So does this mean that future generations are going to be completely reliant on these technologies just to live? 
Can you imagine the day when people don't know how to read a clock because they don't need to know. All they have to do is press a button on their smartphone. 
Personally this worries me. 
Say this trend continues, how can our children learn to survive when we don't really live ourselves? 
Children are like sponges. They'll soak information up, ask questions, want to know more. They have endless amounts of creativity. 
But if we just shove them in front of an iPad with a game of Angry Birds, how can they make memories, gain experiences and learn from their mistake? All the things that have to happen for you to live your life. 

I'd like to say 'oh well, it's not my problem'. But actually it is. My children, your children, the future generations who will rule the world have to be considered.

I have no idea what can be done about these problems, but we can't just think about ourselves anymore.

Hope you've had a nice week, it's been lovely weather here in England for a change!;) thank you for reading this. 
Don't forget to enter your email address (centre right of the homepage) to be notified whenever I post something new! Feel free to leave a comment or tweet me:) @laurahayley129

Thursday, 16 April 2015

'Don't judge a book by its cover'

The other day I got dressed and my boyfriend said to me 'I wasn't expecting you to wear something like that'. 
He didn't mean it in a mean or spiteful way, it was just what popped into his head. 
But it made me think about how we all judge people immediately, even if you don't mean to, by the way they look.
Tattoos, piercings, hair colour, type of clothes, length of skirt, quality of teeth, body size. 
These are just a few things that we use to make a subconscious decision on another person without ever even interacting with them. 

Personally when I wake up in the morning, I decide what kinda mood I'm in and then choose my clothes from that. So if I'm feeling confident and independent I am much more likely to wear my Doc. Martin boots with trousers and a nice top. But on another day I might wake up wanting to feel pretty, innocent and girly so I'll choose a skater dress and some cute frilly socks (and shoes of course xD).
(Okay so apparently I don't take many full length clothes selfies... might update this post tomorrow with some proper examples..)

Even these two different outfits (referring to the text above the image) give a different impression of who I am as a person. Of course I would still behave the same way towards you no matter what I'm wearing but your pre-decided opinion of me would be very different.
It just made me realise that maybe I shouldn't pass that girl off as a slut because of that skirt she's wearing or  avoid that guy in the street because he's wearing a dirty hoodie, maybe he just had a really bad day and didn't have time to wash it.

People change their clothes from day to day, it's what's inside that counts surely?
As humans we need to start considering people as people each with their own individual lives, not just as aesthetic moving images existing for us to critique.

Education in the UK and examinations

So, if you haven't already read or guessed I am a student and I go to sixth form. I have been in education for over 10 years now and I'm planning to stay here for another 5 years I guess. Currently I'm studying A-levels in Biology, History, Sociology and Dance.
With upcoming exams in about 4 weeks, it made me think about how strange our education system is here in the UK (other countries are probably very similar but I haven't got proper knowledge on those, if you get what I'm saying).

You start reception at 4 years old and on the first day you wave goodbye to your parent/guardian who usually sheds a tear at their little monkey growing up.
You reach 11 years old and youre off to 'big school' where you think you're really grown up leaving all the little kids behind.
Then before you know it, you've reached 16. You have sat through your GCSE's and spent countless hours in the exam hall.
These results determine whats going to happen next in your life.
By 18 you've finished your college/sixth form life.
Results day will decide for you whether you're going to have a gap year, go to uni or get a full-time job.

Exams and exam results seem incredibly important at the time. I personally spent hours slaving away behind textbooks to get some decent GCSE's and hopefully will get some o.k A-level results.

But I can't be the only one how finds it weird how our futures are supposedly determined by what grade we get from writing on a piece of paper for an hour or two?

This method of learning isn't really learning in my opinion. The exams are teaching us that memory recall is more important than actually understanding a topic.
Yes, people have come up with some solutions such as BTEC courses and courses which can be heavily coursework based. However BTEC's aren't avaliable in everything (and I understand that that isn't always possible), coursework isn't in every subject and soon some A-levels are going be completely changed. All exams will be at the end of the second year.
Personally, I think that this is a very strange change. There must be some advantages to it, otherwise it wouldn't have been changed but I just can't find them.
I consider myself lucky to be having exams at the end of my first year and at the end of my second becuase that means that I can truly focus on remebering all the knowledge for my first exams, forgetting it the second I leave the exam hall and then memorising more information for the second exams, only to be forgotten again.

I might be the only person who feels like this and of course some people will disagree because maybe they actually do learn the information needed for exams and then retain it for a lifetime. I just know that its never happened to me.

Anyway, thank you for reading, I would love to hear your opinion, so feel free to tweet me or leave a comment - whatever you want.
I must dash as I've got to get back to revising ;)

Thursday, 9 April 2015

My Fears..

Helloo, hope you've all had a lovely day, so this one popped into my head as I began watching 'Eight Legged Freaks' a film about how some poisonous spiders get exposed to a noxious chemical that causes them to grow to monumental proportions.
I didn't really find this film particullarly scary, even though some of it didn't half make me jump.. as I don't really have a fear of spiders (hence the subject of this post).
My top 3 fears have to be;
  • Vomiting - also known as Emetophobia (I will link to the wiki page if you want more info, doubtful that you do but yeah..haha).
  • Rejection.
  • The unknown.
So firstly the vomiting one. I'm not going to go into details about this experience because thats just a bit gross, but when I was 10 years old I vomited. Wow such a shock! But it was horrific and was the trigger point for this phobia I guess you could call it.
It was on the 3rd November and earlier in the day I had drank a chocolate milkshake, like a friji one, I think..
Now we think that that day I just had a sickness bug which was going around, nothing to do with the food I ate but still to this day, 6 years later I refuse to drink milkshake and I will be very very careful about what goes into my body from about the 1st - 5th November. All because of that one incident.
 If I get a slight stomach ache, panic fills my body and I will get hot and start to shake because I get scared of what might happen to my body. This also makes me feel even more nauseous which is uber helpful ahah. I won't go into anymore detail about that one because its a bit cringey but if you'd like more details, let me know on Twitter or leave a comment.

Okay so the next one is a bit more ordinary I guess you could say. Rejection is not desired by anybody, who likes that embarrassment? I don't just mean romantically, it could be in any situation. Just generally not being good enough. This is probably a pretty common one but personally, it explains why I try and be nice to everybody. That just sounds luke I'm trying to big myself up, please don't take this the wrong way. I will let people trample over me, use me, anything as long as I'm not upsetting them. Just because I'm scared that one day everyone will leave and reject me, leading to loneliness which isn't the nicest thing. Once again, I'm going to stop there otherwise this will be the longest post ever!

Finally a fear of the unknown. This is one of the most common fears in my opinion because it could show itself as a fear of the dark, or of swimming in deep water for example. That feeling of not knowing whats going to happen and having no control, it just isn't very fun really. I kinda get it when I'm around very very drunk strangers. That might sound strange but its just being scared because you don't know what they're going to do next. I guess this phobia is also representative of fears of insects and animals. If the animal, a spider for example, is dead then you're probably not going to be scared of it. Well that kinda depends on the strength of your fear but yeah, you kinda see where I'm going with this right? If the spider is alive it could do anything, bite you, crawl on you, crawl inside your clothes, it's being scared of what the spider is going to do next, rather than the actual creature.

So yeah, thats a bit more information on me and what I'm scared of. 
If you feel like it, please leave a comment or let me know on Twitter what your fears are, I'd love to hear about what gives you goosebumps!
Night night xx

Emotions running high/ Snow Queen

Hey everyone, first of all I just want to say thanks for all the views! I know that like 94 (the current amount I have whilst writing this), is not particullarly a large number, especially in comparison to some other amazing blogs, but I really appreciate it! I never even thought I'd reach 50 views so I'm pretty damn happy with 94 xD

So this post was insipred by todays events. For those of you who don't know, I do dancing and for this week I am in a dance show called the 'Snow Queen'. You probably haven't heard the story but I'm playing Kay which is a principle role, wooo!

Anyway, we were doing the rehearsals today and everyone just needed to take a majorrrrr chill pill.
There must've been about 12 people crying today, all over silly things like the order of the finale and whos going where. People were tired, hungry and needed a well deserved break at this point.
Minor details which can be easily solved by simply communicating.

But no, apparently it was necessary for everyone to shout at eachother until they all broke down into tears and stormed off...
Eventually our dance teacher, the head of the dance school, had to sit all us main parts down and have a serious conversation with us about how we were all a kind of disfunctional family and we shouldn't argue and bitch about eachother, which was a very good point and having that chat kinda bought us all together a bit more.

Personally, I try my absolute hardest to stay calm in situations when everyone else is stressing out. I just don't see the point in adding fuel to the fire and getting all worked up which will only make the situation worse.
Shouting will not make anything better, not listening to eachother will only make things 10x worse.
It was only a rehearsal, rehearsals are there for a reason!

Sorry, random rant there, will write some more interesting stuff at some point soon..promise!

Here are some pictures from the last couple of days of rehearsals:)

<--- The best costume and dance, Swan Lake!

Monday, 6 April 2015

The Future...

Its weird to think about the future. Your whole world could change tomorrow and theres nothing you can do about it. Most likely you've got some sort of plans for your life, whether its to get a promotion, or get into uni, get married, move to Alaska, anything.

Personally, I've always wanted to be a teacher. My plan was to go to school, get a-levels etc, attend uni and get a degree then become a primary school teacher. I've had previous experience with teaching and so far have thoroughly enjoyed it. But do you ever just wake up one day and be like no. I don't want to have a 9-5 job which I'm tied down to until I'm 65. I don't want to be someones slave and get paid what they want and be under their control.

You start thinking, hang on, do I really want to live like that?
Crazy thoughts rush through you're mind as you realise that you've been moulded as a child to obey rules of the workplace and you will be expected to go into employment and work for somebody else.
I'm not saying everybody is like this, but for the majority.

So you start thinking about how you can make a change and do something you want to do with your life because after all 'choose a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life' (Confucius) right?

But then no, I do want to be a teacher. Its what I enjoy doing (at least I think I do). Surely I will love that job if I eventually get there? How on earth can we win?

Just another conflict running through my mind.

By the way, I'm currently studying a-levels and am planning to do a sociology degree at university and later become a teacher, if you hadn't already noticed ;) But hey that plan could all go to pot if I win the lottery tomorrow.

If you did win the lottery tomorrow, would you still want to work for that dream job? Or would you throw the towel in and have a pretty chill lifestlye?

I like to think that I would still want to work and reach my goals the same way everyone else has to but then again I've never won the lottery so how do I know what I would do.

Youtube fame

Personally, I spend waaaay too much time watching YouTube videos. They are great entertainment but perhaps not the most productive way to spend an afternoon.
Youtube has developed insanely over the past few years with big time stars such as Zoella, Alfie Deyes, Marcus Butler, Emma Blackery, Shane Dawson and Jenna Marbles making millions from a once, little video site.

Now these youtubers and many more who I can't even name in one blog post, make some incredible content which is inspiring to so many people. Vlogs whilst they seem like a really strange concept - filming your day to day life, even when you're doing nothing interesting - are literally so much fun to watch.
It's strange how as humans, we are interested in other people lives, what's in people's bags, what you do when you wake up in the morning.. All the simple little things which we all do but we enjoy having this knowledge about other people. This has been demonstrated through media before YouTube of course, such as television shows such as Eastenders or Hollyoaks which are basically tv shows documenting peoples very dramatic lives. TOWIE is another good example.

YouTubers in my opinion are incredibly brave. They put themselves on the internet, were they're exposed to millions of people with a huge spectrum of different views. Its hard to comprehend how when they first started uploading videos they were just going for it and carried on even though they may have got hate for what they were doing.
From this, many youtubers are good role models to younger generations who are growing up in a society were technology is becoming essential for success.

I don't really know where I was going with that but yeah, I just find it slightly crazy that people nowadays can make millions from holding a camera around with them wherever they go. I'm not saying its bad, its just could you ever imagine telling someone 50 years ago that you could get famous this way. Like whaaaaaat..

Society is always changing, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. I can't be the only one who finds that kinda scary..