Tuesday, 11 August 2015

The incredible pressure of results day

So here I am, sat in my bedroom having another sleepless night leading up to results day.
Now I might be crazy but this day is heavily looming and with each second I find my stomach turning at the thought of opening that dreaded envelope.

This year seems so incredibly terrifying. Maybe I'm just a bit crazy and an extreme over thinker but all I can imagine is seeing those grades and being a complete disappointment to the world. My parents, friendship groups, boyfriend..

Now I know that grades aren't everything but the pressure I'm personally feeling at this very moment in time is paramount. I'm currently as stressed as I have ever been in my entire life - apart from actually sitting the exams which tore me up and left me sobbing into my pillow on numerous occasions. The strange part is that in reality I should not be at all stressed! I mean, come on, I'm on an awesome 6 week holiday where I'm spending most of my days relaxing watching films or seeing friends but its becoming unbearable.

A bit of background is necessary here I think;
I sat my GCSE's and worked my butt off to get decent grades. I mean studying for hours every night, doing excessive homework etc and in the end I achieved one A*,6 A's and 6 B's. This made me, my parents, my whole family very proud because as a youngster I really struggled with academic stuff.

Of course many would argue that 'hey, you did amazingly last year! You have nothing to worry about this time round!' But really, really?!? Are you serious?

Getting decent grades did not come naturally and saying that does not help AT ALL.
'You'll be fine Laura, stop worrying for goodness sakes.'

I'm sorry, but I don't think you can fully understand the pressure that you have created by assuming that all is going to be well and good again this year.
In a way, having good grades at GCSE, personally I've found that it suddenly increases the pressure to do good again this year. This, in turn, increases the potential amount of disappointment and shock from everyone else.

So when I say that I want to open the envelope on my own, please don't get offended. I'm purely trying to save myself from a mental breakdown if all goes to shit.

I don't know how you feel, but I care about what people think. Everyone says not too, but sometimes that is just impossible.

 Sometimes, we need to be alone, sometimes we need to be with people.

Can someone PLEASE reassure me that I'm not the only person who is feeling this right now/has felt it?

Saturday, 8 August 2015

The problem with the minimum wage - Why does wage depend on age?

So, as I have mentioned 1000 times over, I work in a retail store blah blah blah..

But anyway as a teenager working in this store, as expected I get minimum wage probably due to the lack of real qualifications required to obtain the job etc. As it is only a weekend job just to get a bit of extra cash here and there, I'm not too fussed about the pay as long as I do get paid.
 (Note that I would probably be alot more fussy about my pay if I had to pay bills and rent etc but fortunately at the moment I don't, the money I'm receiving from this job is being saved up to buy a car and go on holiday etc).

However, there is one thing that seriously annoys me about receiving the minimum wage..

That is how someone can receive more money per hour simply because they are older than me.
I find this incredibly annoying as I don't see why my time is worth any less than the other people working there in the same position.
Personally, I think that I work pretty damn hard. And it gets so frustrating when other colleagues walk around avoiding doing work yet they get paid more. It just seems incredibly unfair.
Is it just another form of ageism?

I can totally understand that someone would receive more money if they have a harder job for example being a supervisor or a manger but surely people who are working in the same position should receive the same?

Okay, so I guess you could argue that people who are older have more experience and are therefore better at their job and should get more, which is fair enough, but what if that person is only a year or two older than you, maybe even 3? Are they really going to have thaaaaat much more experience than you?

I'm sure that there must be a reason for this other than companies wanting to pay their employees as little as possible, so if anyone can help open my eyes that would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for reading, don't forget to check out some of my other posts if you enjoyed this one:) As always, any opinions are welcomed! Thanks again, ciao x

Thursday, 6 August 2015

Powdered Sunshine - Lush review

 Hello everybody, here is the second of my Lush review series! I have already written one for 'Vanishing Cream' if you'd like to check that one out please click here and I've also got a bit of a story explaining why I have got so many Lush products haha xD So please click here to read that post.

Anyway, on with the review!
This product was actually bought for me as a present at Christmas time, therefore I'm not 100% sure of the price. 
Actually, I just check the website and it costs £6.95 per 70g (-70g being how much you get in one of the bottle pictured here ---->)

So to be fair, that price is pretty reasonable considering how a little of this product goes a long way! The price also matches other big brand sun creams on the market.
Some of the key ingredients include: Calamine powder, organic Sesame oil, Lemon oil, Lime oil and fair trade Cocoa Butter.

A very good point about this product is that I found it worked very well with make-up. I must admit that I did not use this product in the daytime when I was on holiday as I was worried that I wouldn't apply it properly and therefore get burnt or that it would get washed off in the sand and sea.

However for the evening this product is amazing! I would use a large make-up powder brush and brush it over my face and it would act as a translucent powder, helping to stabilise my makeup and provide sun protection! It was long lasting and made my skin shimmer a little bit which was kinda cute:3
Another great thing about this sunscreen was that it was non-greasy and you wouldn't have to wait a long time for it to soak in with many other sun creams.

One problem with this product would be that I found application hard. At first I tried rubbing the powder into my skin using my hands but that didn't work very well, and I would sometimes accidentally get it on my clothing which was a particular pain when I was wearing dark colours...
 (It was kinda like when you use to much talcum powder when getting out of the shower -.-)
 I think this problem would've been avoided if there was a more specific application method on the bottle maybe. 
In addition to this, the powder felt quite heavy and almost sticky. That may sound weird and maybe I just applied too much product but yeah. I don't know, maybe its because it sits on the skin rather than being absorbed but it wasn't the nicest feeling haha.

Okay so that was a pretty long review! Overall, I really do like this product but definitely in moderation. Would I buy it again? Well I probably won't need too considering how long this one bottle has lasted me so far!

I hope that you enjoyed this review and found it useful:) Feel free to leave any comments below and don't forget that you can enter your email address to the right hand side of the screen to receive an email update every time a new post is released:D
Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

'Education is the passport to your future' - really?!

Okay so as a Sixth Form student, exam season has just passed. Therefore my Sixth Form has stuck posters up around, supposedly encouraging students to work hard, revise and get good grades.

Now I might've simply read a bit too deeply into the meaning of that statement plastered on the bottom of the poster but I don't really think that it's portraying the most positive message to students who are already on the brink of a mental breakdown from the levels of stress and pressure which they're having to cope with. To me it just looks like a form propaganda to boost the statistics, but that might be a little far fetched...
By using this slogan, it is suggesting that without an education, you will not 'gain access' to your future as such.
If you don't pass these exams then you're a failure, basically. You've technically lost your 'passport to your future'.
I know for a fact, that education is not the only way to having a successful life. Okay so that's a bit of a vague statement as everybody considers success as something different. For example, for me success is when I'm very happy. Of course this can be achieved by getting good grades, or earning lots of money from my job but in all honesty, being surrounded by people who love you can also bring happiness personally. Maybe even loosing weight would make you feel very happy.
Therefore education is not necessarily needed for your future!
I don't know, I guess it just depends what you're striving for in the future but I think that posters like this are simply trying to force you into being something you may not really want to be and adding more unnecessary pressure to your life, which definitely isn't going to make you any happier.
What's the point in living if you're not happy?!
Of course everyone goes through periods of anxiety and anger in their lives but not getting an A* in that exam shouldn't limit your whole future.

Since writing this post, I've found an article on the BBC news website all about banning erasers in schools. Click here to view the original article. It talks about how there have been suggestions that rubbers should be banned in schools because they allow children to remove their mistakes from their work. I quote 'Claxton's argument is that by making children deny they make mistakes, we fail to prepare them for the real world, where mistakes can be made, and consequences ensue.'

So this makes sense, by allowing children to remove mistakes they're not being prepared for the real world, yeah fair enough.

However isn't this extremely contradicting to the whole system of exams and the idea that 'education is the passport to your future'?!? I say this because the original statement implies that if you fail and do not get an education then you've lost your future. So when you're in an exam, you're not allowed to make mistakes because if you do and you fail, BOOM game over.

Okay so I'm not sure if that made too much sense, but hey ho. Rant over.
Thank you for reading, what do you think? Have I read far too deeply into this poster?
Opinions are appreciated:)

How to survive working in retail!

If you didn't already know, I currently work in a very popular clothes shop which I can't name for legal reasons, blah blah. I've worked there for almost a year and I thought that it might be fun (and helpful) to tell you some of my tips and tricks on how to cope with a job in retail...it's harder than you might think..xD

1. First of all, one major part of working in retail is the customers. As nasty or annoy as they can be, they are ultimately the ones who pay your wages. Sometimes it can be very hard to smile when you've been treated like a piece of dirt by a customer but it is kinda necessary, kinda. Personally, if a customer is rude to me or whatever I will still be polite but I will get revenge in other ways. For example insufficiently packing their clothes etc.  (I'm such a rebel, I know..)
However not ALL customers are grumpy! Some of them are very very lovely and will chat and be understanding if you have to call a supervisor or whatever. To survive in retail, I would say that it is very important to thrive off of these people because if you focus on the negatives the day will seriously drag!
Another important thing to remember with customers is that they are the same as you. They have problems and sometimes they may be having an awful day and it then becomes your opportunity to either try and make them laugh or be as helpful or quick at serving them as you can be so that they can get back home to eat ice cream and binge watch Netflix.
Moving swiftly on...

2. Another pretty damn big part of working in all jobs really is your colleagues. The best advice for this one is just try and get on with them. It will make your life 1000000000x easier, okay so that might be a bit of an exaggeration..
But basically, you're going to be spending extended periods of time with these people, it will be much more enjoyable if you're not hating each other. Of course there seems to ALWAYS be that one person who you just can't get along with but don't make it your life mission to annoy them because you can bet that they'll get revenge or karma will kick your butt.
Whilst there will always be people who you don't get on with there will always be people who make you laugh and you get on really well with:) One of the main perks of working in a big retail store is that there are lots of different people who I probably wouldn't have met if I didn't start work there and now they've become some of my good friends who I know would stick up for me and my job. They also make the rubbish days a bit more fun and interesting:P

3. This point also relates to the colleague thingy and that is avoid gossipping. When you work with other people who you may not necessarily know very well or at all it is very easy to hear an opinion of someone and then have that singular perspective of them. Anyway back to the point, gossipping just makes working harder to be honest. When rumours start, cliques are created and this can have pretty shitty results . At my job, I've known people be reported to the boss for something that was a total rumour however it led to them losing their job so yeah. Personally, I just stay out of the firing line as much as possible!

4. The final point relates more to your mental (or even physical if you've been stood up for like 7 hours straight) well being. It's important to remember that it's absolutely OK to have a break. Retail working can be incredibly stressful believe it or not. Sometimes when you've got a never-ending queue, grumpy customers or maybe your low on change - it can be tough. Minutes being to feel like hours and if you're unhappy then you will not enjoy your job. So it's alright to take a day off now and then to chill or maybe grab a drink of water if you need it.
Just remember that you are alot stronger than you think but at the end of the day what's more important.. Your mental and physical health? Or reaching the stores budget?!

Anyway there's just a few tips that I've learnt over these last few months, I'm sorry that I haven't been very active recently, but there will be more posts to come!
Hope that you're having a lovely summer, adios x

Vanishing cream - Lush review

 Hello, so here is the first of many Lush reviews of some of the products that I picked up in my recent visit to the Oxford street Lush. Click here to read the explanation and story behind the whole Lush thing...:)
One product which I picked up in Lush was 'Vanishing Cream'.
It costs £18.75 per 45g which definitely isn't the cheapest for a facial moisturiser but this product is pretty damn good.

Some of the key ingredients are; rose water, lavender, honey, jojoba oil and fair trade Shea butter and yeah.

Some good points about this moisturiser is that it is AMAZING
underneath make up! It literally 'vanishes' into your skin and makes it super smooth and perfect for makeup application.

It feels like its doing good to your skin and it smells lovely of course!

However the only problem with this product would be that for me, after wearing it for a couple of days/nights my pores get badly clogged up. This is a problem which I've experienced with many moisturiser but I particularly notice it with this one.

Overall it is a lovely product and it lasts a long time because a little goes a long way. However I would probably not re-purchase this product due to the price but as an occasional treat it is lovely!

Monday, 29 June 2015

The lovely Lush company.

Hello, this post is going to be very different to my previous - just a warning! I felt like doing something a bit different and more relaxed I guess you could say:)

Okay so a couple of days ago it was my birthday (yay!) and as one of my presents, I decided to go on a shopping spree to London. Specifically I wanted to visit Oxford Street and Westfield and I am so incredibly lucky to have the chance to visit these places and have such an amazing time there too!

In this post I would like to talk about Lush and the products that I bought there.
First of all, I was very excited to go into Lush on Oxford Street, not only because it has 3 fantastic floors, but because I knew that Rebecca Brown (known as Beckie0 on youtube etc), worked there.
Beckie0 and I:)

For those of you who don't know who she is, Rebecca is a very inspirational Youtuber, blogger, twitterer and all other social media star. She is very open and I find watching her videos really interesting because she is so raw and honest, in a good way. For many years, I've watched her videos and was so hoping that I might get to meet her in Lush.

It turns out that this birthday was one of the best I've ever had! So she wasn't there when I arrived at the store but I plucked up the courage and asked a member of staff of her whereabouts. Turns out she was going to be arriving at 2 and they organised for me to have a personal tour of the entire store!!!

2pm finally arrived and so did Beckie0! I had an absolutely amazing personal tour of the shop and I learnt so much from that visit! There is honestly so much more behind every product than you can possibly see at first glance.

We also had the chance to go into the photo booth (I will insert a photograph of course!) and she even gave me a free eyeliner as her 'Random Act of Kindness' for the day.

I had an absolutely amazing birthday thanks to her and the wonderful Lush company!!
Rebecca Brown is a very very lovely person who is so very true to her online persona and wow, I was blown away by her patience to show me around and letting me try so many products!

So yeah, basically I had a brilliant birthday and ended up spending almost £100 in Lush that day...ooooops...
Anyway I wanted to tell this story to say how lovely the Lush company are and they are very ethical. I know that it's definitely not the cheapest but you do get what you pay for in that shop!

I'm planning on reviewing many of the Lush products which I purchased that day and from other times so yeah, watch out for those ones if you like Lush products/want to know more about them!

But to my humble followers here on Google+,  I am still planning to keep up with the kind of posts which I've written so far as I understand that beauty reviews are not for everyone! I just want to try something a bit different:)

Thank you very much for reading and thanks again to Rebecca Brown and Lush in Oxford Street! And of course to my lovely parents who took me shopping that day:)

Monday, 22 June 2015

Scary University decisions

For those of you who don't already know I currently attend Sixth form and will soon have to begin applying to University..but this really isn't as easy as it seems, at least in my head it isn't.
Everybody seems to say a different thing about University depending on their perspective.

Sixth form says 'go go go' - because of statistics and their reputation, they don't actually seem to care too much about the individual apparently...
Graduates either do exactly what they want and get the job they wanted or they end up doing a job completely unrelated to their degree which could potentially be seen as a waste of £30,000..
My parents personally try to stay objective and just want me to be happy I think but there is always that pressure to do well of course because I want to make my parents proud which is pretty normal I think.
Friends say no, its a waste of time, you'll have to make all new friends if you go to University and move away and lets not forget about the dept.
Other people just say that you should go to University if you know exactly what job you want to have etc but who really truly knows EXACTLY what job they can get which will satisfy them for their whole entire lives, of course there are some exceptions but I'm definitely not one of them.

So at the moment, deciding on whether I should even attend University is very very blurry. Personally, I'm a very undecided, easily influenced person who can change their life goals in a split second making the choice even harder.

Then there's the part of choosing a course and a place to go to and where to live and ahhhh so much to think about. It just all seems crazy and scary because making the wrong decision here could really negatively impact what happens in the future from my perspective.

Some people would say that an apprenticeship or a different alternative to university is a better option but then you hear the statistics such as ' Graduates Earn £200,000 more than those without a degree'. ( http://www.graduates.co.uk/the-graduate-premium/) Yeah, I'm just a little bit stuck and confused right now I guess :(

So please if you have an opinion or any suggestions on how I can make the right decision for me, I would love to hear about it!! Or maybe you're going through the same problems as me, let me know and we can discuss!

At the end of the day, I find security in thinking that whatever happens, will happen for a reason. 
For example If I completely fail my a-levels, then maybe I was never meant to go to uni but something else will crop up.
(This will also help me cope on results day haha..)

Thank you for reading! Please check out my other posts if you enjoyed this one and please feel free to comment or send me a message.

You're the only one who will be there forever.

First of all I want to say sorry for the lack of posts and activity here recently. I've finished my exams for this year and to be honest, I've just been having a little break from all social media and the internet etc.
But also I wanted to say that whilst I want to update this blog as much as possible, I really only want to write good quality material. Therefore I will write when something has motivated me or something has inspired me to go on a rant or whatever. Basically, I'm trying to focus on quality over quantity.
So yeah that explains my absence and now lets get on to this post!

This one was inspired by what someone said to me the other day. They said that I should 'stand up for myself'. I shouldn't let everyone get what they want and use me for what they want.

That may seem really obvious. I mean, why would you let someone treat you like shit if it's going to make you miserable?! It's totally counter-productive but sometimes you simply can't help it.

Personally, I grew up as quite a shy child. I would never put my hand up in class, or share my opinion because at the end of the day who really cares. This meant that if someone was nice to me or tried to be my friend I would welcome them therefore I would do what they want, let them treat me how they want etc.

But now I've kind of realized that you can never please everybody. Whatever you do or say will irritate someone so at the end of the day you might as well do whatever makes you happy. The number of friends you have may determine your popularity but it can't determine your happiness.

This can be really hard when it links to someone who you love very dearly, for example your closest friends. However, who's going to be around forever? Just you. Technically, no body apart from yourself will be present for the whole duration of your life. I'm talking about all the bad times and good times, all those secrets that you've locked up deep inside, at the end of the day you are the only person who will be there for all of it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is focus on making yourself happy. This might sound very selfish, and I'm not encouraging anybody to purposefully hurt other people, but you can't live to make someone else happy if you're not happy yourself.

Thank you very much for reading even if it was a shorter one this time! Please check out some of my other posts and don't forget that you can sign up to get email updates whenever there is a new update on this blog! Thanks again, have a nice day :-)

Friday, 29 May 2015

Is childhood disappearing?

Everyone has a very different experience growing up and I think that this is a really important question which will affect the future of society.
It is debatable as to whether a) childhood is disappearing and b) is it a bad thing.

So, it is arguably true that childhood is disappearing.For example, the sexualisation of children. Nowadays you can buy baby bikinis, baby high heels etc, why are we trying to grow our children up so damn fast?!
Another example would be access to information. In the past children did not have access to news and adult information because the only way to gather this information would be through a newspaper for example. However in the modern age, children live in a television culture where they only have to watch and listen to understand a situation. They're getting exposed to our world much earlier than ever before.

Some would argue that 'childhood is a social construct' - Stephen Wagg. This means that childhood changes from place to place and from time to time. This is supposedly normal and makes complete sense if you really think about it. For example, in pre-industrial times, children were an economic asset to parents and would work just as an adult would. However soon the compulsory education act was introduced and child labour laws prevented children from working. Policies such as these have reformed childhood and what you experienced as a child will be extremely different to what your great great great grandchildren will experience, that's for sure!

Personally, I would argue that childhood is not disappearing, it is just developing and changing to fit in with society as human kind continues. People have to adapt to the situation which they are thrown into just to survive on this crazy planet.

Whether these changes in childhood are for the better or the worse, I guess that only time will tell.

Thank you very much for reading, I hope that you enjoyed this post which was inspired by part of my sociology a-level course. Please let me know what you think and don't forget that you can get email updates every time this blog is updated by entering your email address into the box on the right hand side:)

 How was your childhood different to your parents?

Thanks again.

Sunday, 17 May 2015

5 steps to surviving a chaotic lifestyle without breaking down!

Okay, so firstly I attend sixth form 5/7 days of the week. The other two days I decided to get a job in a very popular discount clothes shop. So this does not leave me with a single day of rest in a week, it's great I know.. I also go dancing 3 times a week for a total of 7 hours per week..

Anyway I'm not going to complain about that anymore as it was completely my choice to get the job and go dancing etc and that isn't what this post is supposed to be about.
But from spending my weekends working in this store, dancing and juggling college work it has taught me a couple of ways to cope with people and to handle a chaotic lifestyle:

1) First of all, it really helps to know that you ARE allowed a break.
It's not going to kill you if you take that evening off from doing the dishes or housework for example. You are allowed to have the occasional cheeky netflix binge. Personally I find when I begin to feel like I'm drowning in stress, going out with someone, taking a hot bath, watching You tube; anything can help as long you can turn your brain off for a bit. If you can take half an hour to relax, things will seem clearer. Okay yeah you may have just lost half an hour in which you could've been studying or whatever but at least now you'll be able to organise what you really need to do and when. Everything should just seem a bit clearer, if it's not maybe try writing it down. Sometimes I feel like my head is just juggling so much information I feel on the brink of explosion but if I can empty those thoughts slightly, it can help to relieve the pressure.

2) You can say no.
This one I really need to work on oops.. By this second point, I mean like saying no to going out with friends or doing that extra shift at work. If you've been working hard all week and then they ask you to go in super early on that Sunday morning, you do not have to do it. You are allowed to have that extra couple hours sleep which will really help you function. Of course it's important to be kind and helpful to others etc but you can't forget about yourself. 

3) Stress will come in waves.
For me, this is a big one. I find that I can build up tension inside myself and it just keeps going until I feel like I'm drowning in pressure and stress and anxiety and bleuuuuuugh. No thanks! When you reach that point that's when you need to take 10 minutes out. Break away from the world and this might sound weird but think about how big the universe is and how insignificant whatever you're stressing about really is. Remembering that stress comes in waves helps me because it just reminds me that things will calm down. Things will get better, it's how life works. Life will throw you a challenge, you either take it on or you run, either way it will stretch you and your abilities.

4) Look after your physical necessities.
This kinda links in with number 2 but its very important that you look after yourself! Don't stay up all night watching TV if you've got work early in the morning. You're going to need that sleep so that tomorrow doesn't seem so bad. Eat healthily, exercise blah blah blah, yeah do it. That McDonald's is not going to fill you up for long enough, have some proper food and remember that you are literally what you eat. Say you eat junk food all week, and say some of it gets stored as fat. When you look at your body in the mirror and see that you've gained those couple of extra pounds, it's literally that cheeseburger but in a different form. You are made of whatever you put in your body. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.
The exercise? I just do it because afterwards, its like 'fuck yeah' I'm doing something goooood.

5) It's worth it.
Always remember that your hard work will pay off, there is a reason as to why you do this with your life.
 If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Thank you for readind, please share this if you found it interesting/ helpful! Goodnight:)

Thursday, 7 May 2015

Election day! A young person's perspective...

So, politics.
Today, if you weren't already aware, is election day in the UK. This is where anybody over the age of 18 can vote for who they want to run the country for the next few years basically.

As a British teen, I do not like the fact that my knowledge of politics and the parties, candidates etc is very very limited. All I know is that you can vote a polling station and the main parties are the Conservatives, Labour, Liberal Democrats, UKIP and the Green Party (I think).

Yes I have basic knowledge of what each party kind of wants but who I would vote for? No clue.

It's funny because you hear about lots of parties trying to get young people's votes because they usually don't bother voting etc. There is a reason for why we don't bother. Of course some people just don't really care and can't be bothered but I would say that its more down to the fact that we don't understand.
We hear rumours from newspapers, television, the internet, other people about some parties being very violent, corrupt, a bit wacky, all about upper class people/ lower class people and sometimes that it doesn't matter who you vote for, nothing will change.
 This information can be very subjective and biased of course because whoever is telling you this information has got a purpose to get you to vote for a particular party otherwise they probably wouldn't be talking to you.

To solve the lack of knowledge of politics in young people, I would suggest having lessons in politics and just being able to learn about who's who, what they want for Britain and their history perhaps. Okay so yeah, some people may object which is fair enough but surely knowing about who will run the country is much more important that Pythagoras's theorem?!
Children ARE the future. They will one day be standing up against each other trying to rule the country, that's a fact.

However, I understand that It would be very hard to deliver this information objectively, as all teachers would have their own personal opinions and beliefs, which kinda throws the idea of being taught about politics in schools out of the window but how else can we learn about this stuff?

I once again, do not have the answer, it's just something that irritates me as I feel like I'm really missing out but I would not want to jeopardise this country with my lack of understanding.

Thank you for reading, what do you think?
Just a disclaimer, of course this is my own personal experience, maybe you went to a school were they taught you this stuff? Let me know how you learnt about politics and who to vote for. Who influenced you?

What is the point?

Do you ever sit there at the brink of explosion wondering, what is the point?

I do this increasing amounts everyday, and its kind of getting scary now. It's like you've worked hard all day at work/college etc and then you come home, have to do the housework, look after siblings, go to the gym whatever it is. Then at the weekends you may have a part time job or you may have to dedicate your time to something else like seeing family for example.
Now, when do you get a break? When do you get to sit down and just relax?
There seems to never be a time to just be happy.

Personally, I feel like in this life, you don't ever get to relax and be content. You're always on the move for work, other people, anything. There is always something that's broken/wrong in life.

This could just be me who's having a bit of a shit time at the moment but maybe not. All this just makes me think; whats the point in living if you're not happy?
Why would anyone want to live 80 years complaining and having a miserable time?!?!?
I know I certainly wouldn't.
It's just that my life course ahead of me seems so depressing.
Age 5 = Start school. (this process refers to my life as a person in Britain).
Age 16 = Finish school and join a college/sixth form/apprenticeship.
Age 18 = Finish a-levels (etc) and go to uni.
Age 21 = Finish University and go into employment.
Work for the next 45 years approximately, just trying to earn enough money for my family etc.
Age 66 = Retire and enjoy living for a few years (about 4).
Age 70 = Get some sort of age-related disease.
Age 80+ = Probably die from some painful disease.
The End.

Personally this sounds utterly awful. Who would want to go from education, work, retirement and then practically death??
                                                            What is the point?

I just think that the society we live in is somehow broken and people can't enjoy themselves anymore, no wonder the depression rate is so high nowadays.

The thing is though, WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES.
In my situation, I am very privileged. I have a roof over my head, a loving family who will support me, food for every meal and many lovely luxuries which I take for granted. I know that this is very very wrong but unless you've not had those wonderful things then how can you develop appreciation for them?
 So when you put it like that, suddenly our life course looks bright. We are lucky to have schools and an opportunity for an education. We are lucky to be able to go into employment and earn money. We are lucky that we can retire as many people across the world have to work till their dead.
Why does it look so bleak then? 
And how can we start appreciating the things we take for granted because that needs to happen immediately if we ever want to be happy.

Honestly, I have no idea.

Okay so that was just something to think about, pretty damn deep but hey. Have a nice day, let me know what you think.

A little update.

Hello everybody, I just wanted to say I'm reaaaaaally sorry that I haven't posted on here for a little while. My life has suddenly become crazy and I'm starting to feel like I'm going to explode numerous time of the day. Due to pressure and stress I mean, not because I'm angry:3

My a-level exams are starting next week, I've got another dance show coming up in July and work is kinda very shit at the moment. Please bare with me as when I have a bit more time I'm hoping to update this blog daily!!

Thank you for your patience and for actually taking an interest in this little blog haha:)
I will write a post tonight but will probably be absent for a little while until my exams are over, don't worry I'll still be checking any notifications and all that!
Anyway, I hope you have a lovely couple of weeks, keep your eyes peeled for a couple of posts tonight which will make up for the lack in the next couple of weeks,

                                                     See you in a bit, love from Laura x

Sunday, 26 April 2015

What is love?

This is a intertesting, complex topic; but lets just dive straight in...
I believe that there are 3 types of love;
1. The first type is all about loving an object or something that you own. For example I love my Iphone, I would probably be lost without it as I heavily rely on it to my disappointment...(see my last post for more information!) Yes I love it, but I'm not attracted to it and the love is not unconditional. If the phone breaks or whatever, I'm not going to love it anymore, I'll probably go and buy a Samsung, if you get the picture.
You can love this inanimate object but its not love that you could feel with a person because it has no ability to love you back.

2. So, the second type of love is the kind of love you feel for family and friends. It is unconditional and you love these people because you've spent alot of time with them and they've sculpted who you are as a person. You provide emotional support for eachother and you have the capability to forgive eachother if you make a mistake. Not like an Iphone, you're much more likely to forgive a person for their mistakes if you love them because you care about them and don't want to lose them. However this desn't mean that you're in any way attracted to them or in love with them. You love them for who they are and for everything they've done for you and they should appreciate everything you've done for them as well.

3. This third type is waaaay different to the other two. This is true love. The kind you see in Disney films between Princes and Princesses. This, obviously, can be a very nice thing, especially if the person loves you back. It can be absoluteley wonderful.
Now, I'm still pretty young and as you would expect I do not have much experience with this kind of love because of my age etc. Hopefully I've still got quite a bit of life to go where I will gain these experiences and memories. I reckon this third kind can be very beautiful. Personally, I'm only just beginning to get a taste of this.
This love originally develops as lust. Some people may call it 'love at first sight' but in my opinion its just attraction at first sight. It's not deep love because you need to spend your precious time with that person for deep love to really develop.
So it starts with attraction, like a little crush you would get in the playground as a kid. And then you get to know them, instead of just loving the way they look you start loving who they are as a person. You fall in love with the little details, and the attraction is no longer just to those sparkiling blue eyes, or those ripped abs for example. You're seeing past the outer shell of that person.
I mentioned earlier that this kind can be very beautiful but I believe that it can also be very destructive and damaging as well because it's so powerful. There are negatives to everything, nothing is perfect, life is not a movie. Some might argue that this destructive side is very painful and can ruin your life as you're in a very vunerable position which is totally understandable.
However the power and strength of the third kind, I think, can almost be seen in a positive way. For example, you're worried about what they're doing, who they're hanging out with etc and obviously that hurts because you're scared of losing that person. BUT without that slight fear, would you really love that person?
For me, I like to see it as proof, yes its okay to be jealous because it means that I'm not fooling myself. I'm not making this love up through rose tinted glasses, it's really there.

Just something that popped into my head on a walk to Sixth Form one morning. Have a good evening, thank you for reading!
What do you think? Have I got it all wrong or does this make sense?

Monday, 20 April 2015

The dependency culture of technology

Okay so this post is a bit different to my other stuff. It's also the second time that I've attempted at posting this as the stupid blogger app deleted the whole post before actually posting it. Fucking brilliant.

Anyway.. So as a society I think we're becoming more and more dependent on technology to live. We are permanently attached to our mobile phones, listening to our iPods or scrolling through facebook on a computer. 
For example;
'75% of Americans admit to taking their mobile phone to the toilet'
I'm sorry whaaaat? 
Some people argue that they like having their phones with them at all times to feel safe. Yes I completely understand that and there are many benefits to having a phone. GPs, entertainment, safety, capturing memories etc... 
But, who's going to magically appear in your bathroom and attack you whilst you're on the loo?!?! 
This would suggest that maybe it isn't just for safety as to why we crave our phones. 
Nowadays we like having constant attention, constant entertainment, constant conversations. 
This then leads me to think about the future (and the title of this post). As a society we greatly depend on technology. Of course there are major benefits to having these things in our lives and we are very lucky to live in a world such as this. 
As time goes on, we're becoming more and more dependent. This also links to why the obesity rate is so high nowadays, we don't do things for ourselves. We don't have to, so why bother?
Need to get somewhere? Take the car.
Need to wash the dishes? Use a dishwasher.
Need to buy groceries? Do some online shopping.
So does this mean that future generations are going to be completely reliant on these technologies just to live? 
Can you imagine the day when people don't know how to read a clock because they don't need to know. All they have to do is press a button on their smartphone. 
Personally this worries me. 
Say this trend continues, how can our children learn to survive when we don't really live ourselves? 
Children are like sponges. They'll soak information up, ask questions, want to know more. They have endless amounts of creativity. 
But if we just shove them in front of an iPad with a game of Angry Birds, how can they make memories, gain experiences and learn from their mistake? All the things that have to happen for you to live your life. 

I'd like to say 'oh well, it's not my problem'. But actually it is. My children, your children, the future generations who will rule the world have to be considered.

I have no idea what can be done about these problems, but we can't just think about ourselves anymore.

Hope you've had a nice week, it's been lovely weather here in England for a change!;) thank you for reading this. 
Don't forget to enter your email address (centre right of the homepage) to be notified whenever I post something new! Feel free to leave a comment or tweet me:) @laurahayley129

Thursday, 16 April 2015

'Don't judge a book by its cover'

The other day I got dressed and my boyfriend said to me 'I wasn't expecting you to wear something like that'. 
He didn't mean it in a mean or spiteful way, it was just what popped into his head. 
But it made me think about how we all judge people immediately, even if you don't mean to, by the way they look.
Tattoos, piercings, hair colour, type of clothes, length of skirt, quality of teeth, body size. 
These are just a few things that we use to make a subconscious decision on another person without ever even interacting with them. 

Personally when I wake up in the morning, I decide what kinda mood I'm in and then choose my clothes from that. So if I'm feeling confident and independent I am much more likely to wear my Doc. Martin boots with trousers and a nice top. But on another day I might wake up wanting to feel pretty, innocent and girly so I'll choose a skater dress and some cute frilly socks (and shoes of course xD).
(Okay so apparently I don't take many full length clothes selfies... might update this post tomorrow with some proper examples..)

Even these two different outfits (referring to the text above the image) give a different impression of who I am as a person. Of course I would still behave the same way towards you no matter what I'm wearing but your pre-decided opinion of me would be very different.
It just made me realise that maybe I shouldn't pass that girl off as a slut because of that skirt she's wearing or  avoid that guy in the street because he's wearing a dirty hoodie, maybe he just had a really bad day and didn't have time to wash it.

People change their clothes from day to day, it's what's inside that counts surely?
As humans we need to start considering people as people each with their own individual lives, not just as aesthetic moving images existing for us to critique.

Education in the UK and examinations

So, if you haven't already read or guessed I am a student and I go to sixth form. I have been in education for over 10 years now and I'm planning to stay here for another 5 years I guess. Currently I'm studying A-levels in Biology, History, Sociology and Dance.
With upcoming exams in about 4 weeks, it made me think about how strange our education system is here in the UK (other countries are probably very similar but I haven't got proper knowledge on those, if you get what I'm saying).

You start reception at 4 years old and on the first day you wave goodbye to your parent/guardian who usually sheds a tear at their little monkey growing up.
You reach 11 years old and youre off to 'big school' where you think you're really grown up leaving all the little kids behind.
Then before you know it, you've reached 16. You have sat through your GCSE's and spent countless hours in the exam hall.
These results determine whats going to happen next in your life.
By 18 you've finished your college/sixth form life.
Results day will decide for you whether you're going to have a gap year, go to uni or get a full-time job.

Exams and exam results seem incredibly important at the time. I personally spent hours slaving away behind textbooks to get some decent GCSE's and hopefully will get some o.k A-level results.

But I can't be the only one how finds it weird how our futures are supposedly determined by what grade we get from writing on a piece of paper for an hour or two?

This method of learning isn't really learning in my opinion. The exams are teaching us that memory recall is more important than actually understanding a topic.
Yes, people have come up with some solutions such as BTEC courses and courses which can be heavily coursework based. However BTEC's aren't avaliable in everything (and I understand that that isn't always possible), coursework isn't in every subject and soon some A-levels are going be completely changed. All exams will be at the end of the second year.
Personally, I think that this is a very strange change. There must be some advantages to it, otherwise it wouldn't have been changed but I just can't find them.
I consider myself lucky to be having exams at the end of my first year and at the end of my second becuase that means that I can truly focus on remebering all the knowledge for my first exams, forgetting it the second I leave the exam hall and then memorising more information for the second exams, only to be forgotten again.

I might be the only person who feels like this and of course some people will disagree because maybe they actually do learn the information needed for exams and then retain it for a lifetime. I just know that its never happened to me.

Anyway, thank you for reading, I would love to hear your opinion, so feel free to tweet me or leave a comment - whatever you want.
I must dash as I've got to get back to revising ;)

Thursday, 9 April 2015

My Fears..

Helloo, hope you've all had a lovely day, so this one popped into my head as I began watching 'Eight Legged Freaks' a film about how some poisonous spiders get exposed to a noxious chemical that causes them to grow to monumental proportions.
I didn't really find this film particullarly scary, even though some of it didn't half make me jump.. as I don't really have a fear of spiders (hence the subject of this post).
My top 3 fears have to be;
  • Vomiting - also known as Emetophobia (I will link to the wiki page if you want more info, doubtful that you do but yeah..haha).
  • Rejection.
  • The unknown.
So firstly the vomiting one. I'm not going to go into details about this experience because thats just a bit gross, but when I was 10 years old I vomited. Wow such a shock! But it was horrific and was the trigger point for this phobia I guess you could call it.
It was on the 3rd November and earlier in the day I had drank a chocolate milkshake, like a friji one, I think..
Now we think that that day I just had a sickness bug which was going around, nothing to do with the food I ate but still to this day, 6 years later I refuse to drink milkshake and I will be very very careful about what goes into my body from about the 1st - 5th November. All because of that one incident.
 If I get a slight stomach ache, panic fills my body and I will get hot and start to shake because I get scared of what might happen to my body. This also makes me feel even more nauseous which is uber helpful ahah. I won't go into anymore detail about that one because its a bit cringey but if you'd like more details, let me know on Twitter or leave a comment.

Okay so the next one is a bit more ordinary I guess you could say. Rejection is not desired by anybody, who likes that embarrassment? I don't just mean romantically, it could be in any situation. Just generally not being good enough. This is probably a pretty common one but personally, it explains why I try and be nice to everybody. That just sounds luke I'm trying to big myself up, please don't take this the wrong way. I will let people trample over me, use me, anything as long as I'm not upsetting them. Just because I'm scared that one day everyone will leave and reject me, leading to loneliness which isn't the nicest thing. Once again, I'm going to stop there otherwise this will be the longest post ever!

Finally a fear of the unknown. This is one of the most common fears in my opinion because it could show itself as a fear of the dark, or of swimming in deep water for example. That feeling of not knowing whats going to happen and having no control, it just isn't very fun really. I kinda get it when I'm around very very drunk strangers. That might sound strange but its just being scared because you don't know what they're going to do next. I guess this phobia is also representative of fears of insects and animals. If the animal, a spider for example, is dead then you're probably not going to be scared of it. Well that kinda depends on the strength of your fear but yeah, you kinda see where I'm going with this right? If the spider is alive it could do anything, bite you, crawl on you, crawl inside your clothes, it's being scared of what the spider is going to do next, rather than the actual creature.

So yeah, thats a bit more information on me and what I'm scared of. 
If you feel like it, please leave a comment or let me know on Twitter what your fears are, I'd love to hear about what gives you goosebumps!
Night night xx

Emotions running high/ Snow Queen

Hey everyone, first of all I just want to say thanks for all the views! I know that like 94 (the current amount I have whilst writing this), is not particullarly a large number, especially in comparison to some other amazing blogs, but I really appreciate it! I never even thought I'd reach 50 views so I'm pretty damn happy with 94 xD

So this post was insipred by todays events. For those of you who don't know, I do dancing and for this week I am in a dance show called the 'Snow Queen'. You probably haven't heard the story but I'm playing Kay which is a principle role, wooo!

Anyway, we were doing the rehearsals today and everyone just needed to take a majorrrrr chill pill.
There must've been about 12 people crying today, all over silly things like the order of the finale and whos going where. People were tired, hungry and needed a well deserved break at this point.
Minor details which can be easily solved by simply communicating.

But no, apparently it was necessary for everyone to shout at eachother until they all broke down into tears and stormed off...
Eventually our dance teacher, the head of the dance school, had to sit all us main parts down and have a serious conversation with us about how we were all a kind of disfunctional family and we shouldn't argue and bitch about eachother, which was a very good point and having that chat kinda bought us all together a bit more.

Personally, I try my absolute hardest to stay calm in situations when everyone else is stressing out. I just don't see the point in adding fuel to the fire and getting all worked up which will only make the situation worse.
Shouting will not make anything better, not listening to eachother will only make things 10x worse.
It was only a rehearsal, rehearsals are there for a reason!

Sorry, random rant there, will write some more interesting stuff at some point soon..promise!

Here are some pictures from the last couple of days of rehearsals:)

<--- The best costume and dance, Swan Lake!

Monday, 6 April 2015

The Future...

Its weird to think about the future. Your whole world could change tomorrow and theres nothing you can do about it. Most likely you've got some sort of plans for your life, whether its to get a promotion, or get into uni, get married, move to Alaska, anything.

Personally, I've always wanted to be a teacher. My plan was to go to school, get a-levels etc, attend uni and get a degree then become a primary school teacher. I've had previous experience with teaching and so far have thoroughly enjoyed it. But do you ever just wake up one day and be like no. I don't want to have a 9-5 job which I'm tied down to until I'm 65. I don't want to be someones slave and get paid what they want and be under their control.

You start thinking, hang on, do I really want to live like that?
Crazy thoughts rush through you're mind as you realise that you've been moulded as a child to obey rules of the workplace and you will be expected to go into employment and work for somebody else.
I'm not saying everybody is like this, but for the majority.

So you start thinking about how you can make a change and do something you want to do with your life because after all 'choose a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life' (Confucius) right?

But then no, I do want to be a teacher. Its what I enjoy doing (at least I think I do). Surely I will love that job if I eventually get there? How on earth can we win?

Just another conflict running through my mind.

By the way, I'm currently studying a-levels and am planning to do a sociology degree at university and later become a teacher, if you hadn't already noticed ;) But hey that plan could all go to pot if I win the lottery tomorrow.

If you did win the lottery tomorrow, would you still want to work for that dream job? Or would you throw the towel in and have a pretty chill lifestlye?

I like to think that I would still want to work and reach my goals the same way everyone else has to but then again I've never won the lottery so how do I know what I would do.

Youtube fame

Personally, I spend waaaay too much time watching YouTube videos. They are great entertainment but perhaps not the most productive way to spend an afternoon.
Youtube has developed insanely over the past few years with big time stars such as Zoella, Alfie Deyes, Marcus Butler, Emma Blackery, Shane Dawson and Jenna Marbles making millions from a once, little video site.

Now these youtubers and many more who I can't even name in one blog post, make some incredible content which is inspiring to so many people. Vlogs whilst they seem like a really strange concept - filming your day to day life, even when you're doing nothing interesting - are literally so much fun to watch.
It's strange how as humans, we are interested in other people lives, what's in people's bags, what you do when you wake up in the morning.. All the simple little things which we all do but we enjoy having this knowledge about other people. This has been demonstrated through media before YouTube of course, such as television shows such as Eastenders or Hollyoaks which are basically tv shows documenting peoples very dramatic lives. TOWIE is another good example.

YouTubers in my opinion are incredibly brave. They put themselves on the internet, were they're exposed to millions of people with a huge spectrum of different views. Its hard to comprehend how when they first started uploading videos they were just going for it and carried on even though they may have got hate for what they were doing.
From this, many youtubers are good role models to younger generations who are growing up in a society were technology is becoming essential for success.

I don't really know where I was going with that but yeah, I just find it slightly crazy that people nowadays can make millions from holding a camera around with them wherever they go. I'm not saying its bad, its just could you ever imagine telling someone 50 years ago that you could get famous this way. Like whaaaaaat..

Society is always changing, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. I can't be the only one who finds that kinda scary..

Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Things change/Perception

Over the past couple of months things have changed, going to go with a solid 8 or so.

So so so much has changed. It can be very scary to think about how everything can stay the same for a very long time and then one day, bang.

Friendships that you thought were going to last a lifetime becuase you'd hung out for the past 4 years practically everyday and then you find out that they hated you all along. Its an amazing experience if you haven't had that one already..

Or the opposite side of that and people who you thought 'na I'll never be friends with them, eugh' you end up being very close to them. Its scary. Pretty much everything in our world is exactly what we make of it. Of course we can't change other people decisions which could in turn affect us but we can almost make anything happen if you believe in it enough and want it enough.

Now yeah, that does sound really silly. "If you want it enough, you can get it". Obviously you couldn't just nip to Tescos and buy a unicorn because you wanted one, thats not going to happen.

But If something in your life is upsetting you, someone or something then hope is not lost. Of course not everything goes by this principle and thats not what I'm saying.
All it is, is that if you really want that thing then there is a way to it becuase your world that you see out of your eyes is exactly what you make of it.

How do we know that this world we live in isn't just what we've created in our own minds?

Perception can't be the answer but?

Kind diverted off of the subject there but hey ho, this is just a way of emptying my mind I guess aha..

What up

Hello, so I don't really know why I'm going to try and make this work buuuut I'm going to give it a go. I think I'm going to try and use this blog as an escape for the thoughts in my head which would only nestle and grow if they weren't released.
Gosh that sounded really deep, no its not always going to be like that, promise.

I've tried making youtube videos but after about 6 months of them having like 100 views, I personally just get a bit embarrassed and end up privating the video anyway so yeah haha.

The plan is to just write on here whenever I feel like it and just to discuss whats been going on recently in my life I guess, only the interesting parts of course.

So yeah, welcome to my blog, I'm just a British teen with alot to say.